Thursday morning inspiration
I often find inspiration from all sorts of areas. Music, older fiction, looking out the window… One thing that’s lasted for quite a while is the inspiration I gain from several different works of fiction that help drive Black Mask & Pale Rider. I’ve even made it a constant memory for myself with my own desktop wallpaper. Which I will share. Hopefully, it inspires others and helps them in whatever work they do.
Click the image for a larger version.
The eyes have it
I had no choice, I had to break down and get new glasses. Not just frames, which I also needed, but new lenses. As I spoke to the eye doctor, I was brought to the sudden realization that yes, I am very much getting older.
The new glasses I have are progressive lenses. For those who do not have the joy of having glasses, or are much younger than I am, here is what progressive lenses means.
From Wikipedia:
Progressive spectacle lenses, also called progressive addition lenses (PAL), progressive power lenses, graduated prescription lenses, and varifocal or multifocal lenses, are corrective lenses used in eyeglasses to correct presbyopia and other disorders of accommodation. They are characterised by a gradient of increasing lens power, added to the wearer’s correction for the other refractive errors. The gradient starts at the wearer’s distance prescription, at the top of the lens and reaches a maximum addition power, or the full reading addition, at the bottom of the lens. The length of the progressive power gradient on the lens surface depends on the refractive index of the lens, with a final addition power between 0.75 to 3.00 dioptres for most wearers. The addition value prescribed depends on the level of presbyopia of the patient and is closely related to age and to a lesser extent, existing prescription.
This is going to take some getting used to, as I have already discovered. Looking straight ahead is fine. The world is so much clearer than my old glasses. But looking down, that’s a whole new adventure. My eyes have to adjust every time they move it would seem.
My eyes are getting older, and they aren’t really getting better. As a matter of fact, they’re getting worse. It’s a scary thing to think about sometimes, and the thought has run through my head that what if one day I wake up and I’m completely blind. As it is, my eyes are bad enough that I can be classed as close as legally blind without actually being blind.
It has been suggested that I go in to have my eyes dilated, which as has been described to me, is like having a puff of air shot at my eyes. I have a hard time touching my eye (no contact lenses for me) so a puff of air probably isn’t going to be any better. I have also been informed that I won’t be able to drive for the day after it’s done.
I suppose it isn’t so bad, at least a lot of this is preventative, so that my eyes won’t get worse right away, or I won’t have to go in for major surgery. So, why not lazer surgery? Why wouldn’t I wish to improve my eyes that way? Remember what I said about touching the eye (which just the thought makes me squicky)? Yeah, lazers really don’t make that any better. It’s like “Here, have some hot, burning light in your eye ball!” No thanks, I’ll put up with the glasses.
Until next time…
…keep ‘em flyin’!
The world of technology
This past weekend I went into the city, but with a different purpose than most other weekends.
The other weekends I did spend time with friends and went about doing some shopping and even saw a couple of shows. This time, I went in to spend time with my folks. The big reason why is my dad has entered the 21st Century, so to speak. In this order he has purchased a digital camera, a netbook and a 3 in 1 printer. Pretty decent. And from the prices, pretty affordable.
The camera he purchased is a Fujitsu Camera, which is actually better than my own Kodak. I didn’t read the full specs, but it can do everything mine can and instead of being 8.1 megapixels, it’s 12 megapixels.
The netbook he purchased is an Acer, which actually seems better than my own laptop, and I’ve even given mine an upgrade to 2 gig of RAM. Plus, his is loaded with Windows 7 Starter. A big step up from my own Windows XP. Though, I’m not complaining, it took me two years to go from Windows 98 to Windows XP when it did come out.
Finally, the printer he purchased is a 3-in-1 HP Printer. A pretty decent one as things go. We aren’t looking at getting a magazine or newspaper quality type print job here anyway.
All in all, however, I think my dad made some pretty decent purchases, all of which go toward taking some nice photos and printing them off with ease. My dad was always a photo-bug, having his own black and white 35 mm camera and even used the old Kodak Brownie line of cameras (I still have a Kodak Brownie Hawkeye camera, and it still works). He taught me how to develope film and helped me learn about setting the photo paper down and getting the picture just right. About the dodge and burn paddles and how to make things not look so over exposed. You know, before Photoshop had all of that in the same utility and you could do it with software.
Now that dad is set up with his own computer, camera and printer, the next step is getting him online. I think we’ll wait a bit on that. Not like I need to worry, I have faith that my parents are going to be around for a while. But having my dad connect online will be an interesting, if not sometimes entertaining, experience.
Until next time…
…keep ‘em flyin’!
Excitment Brewing
Of course with a title like that you would expect me to tell you about all the things that are up and coming. And I am to a point.
There’s been a lot excitement over the pass few weeks. A previous blog explained some difficult times that are coming up in my family. It also gave wind that BF and I are back together.
While it’s not completely official since I don’t have a ring, Zach and I are engaged to be married. All of this happen so quickly even for me that I haven’t had time to catch my breath. Many people understood that I loved him even while we were separated. I fought even when I wanted to do nothing more than give up. I nearly lost him but God smiled on me and offered me my last chance.
Zach understand that the economy isn’t really good and looking for a job is tough. He’s decided on friday he’s going to enlist in the Navy. Now I’ve been this road before. I was once an Army Wife, now I’ll be a Navy Wife. Either way I know it’s going to be tough on me and there will be times when I will want him to come home ASAP because I need or want him. This is where the spoiled Zodi gets put on hold. MEH!
The other part to this is if he and I are married it will be easier when filing paper work and all that jazz so that I can be covered by his benefits. I don’t know about Rhys but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
Now the excitement. With Zach enlisting this means I will go from fiancee to wife in a matter of weeks. Two to be exactly. That’s right. After all the fighting and BS that he and I have put each other through in the past four years, we decided why wait any longer, get it done and over with worry about a fancy shindig later. So on April 16th, I will no longer be Zodi Mitchell. I will be Zodi Mitchell-Heidler, or Zodi Heidler. I haven’t decided yet (and he is picking on me about this too.)
We are planning a huge wedding in a few years, once we know what is going on with all the Navy stuff. This stuff will all come in time.
So yeah lots and lots of new stuff cooking up in the world of Zodi.
Speaking of cooking and of facebook for that matter. I play a game called Cafe World. I’ve decided that I am going to start making from scratch dishes that are in the game. This will lead into a whole new Dontcha blogs that I’ve been seriously slacking on. Kinda like my writing, which I think it’s safe to say that I am taking an undefined hiatus for writing.
All in due time.
Keep it real and rockin’
I been hangin’ ’round gas stations
I been hangin’ around libraries
I been learnin’ ’bout books
I been talkin’ to playwriters
I been workin’ on words, phrases
Call this my very musically patriotic post. But I was struck while suddenly getting misty eyed over memories of the past. One song has always been there for me, not one that truly inspired any of my writing, but one that’s always been there. The Guess Who’s Running Back To Saskatoon. It always seems that at some point in my life, I’m doing just that, running back to Saskatoon.
It’s not a bad thing, per say. I love the city, I’ve lived in it at various points in my life. I always come back to it. Saskatoon is familiar ground for me, just as Outlook is a comforting home. It wasn’t until today that some of the lyrics of Running Back To Saskatoon really hit home. Oh, I know that Burton Cummings is an excellent song writer, crafting music that sounds fun, but has a message at the same time. American Woman, for example, was ironic. It became a smash hit in the States in the early 70′s, but the focus of the song was more like a slap in the face of what the American government was doing at the time.
Those lyrics that I highlighted in Running Back To Saskatoon hit home, because I’ve really been talking to people a lot lately about books. Over the past two and a half years, I have been hangin’ out in “libraries”. Those virtual libraries of web lit authors and even going to places to learn how to publish my own material (thus, it fits with “been learnin’ ’bout books”).
I have been talking to playwriters, individuals such as authors James Melzer, Jenny Hudock, Edward Talbot. Poets like Ray Onativia. And script writers like David N. Wilson. I’ve learned from them the mistakes and triumphs that they have made, and taken their examples as I plug away at this thing called writing.
And I’ve been workin’ on words and phrases. Over 98,000 words to be exact. Black Mask & Pale Rider has been an accomplishment that has taken almost two years. And it’s so close to completion it’s not even funny. Things are coming, that’s for sure.
But for this weekend, I’m runnin’ back to Saskatoon, hookin’ up with my buddy Pearce, and we’re takin’ in a Burlesque show. Now, sing it with me…
Moose Jaw saw a few, Moosomin too
Runnin’ back to Saskatoon
Red Deer, Terrace and a Medicine Hat
Sing another prairie tune
Sing another prairie tune
Until next time…
…keep ‘em flyin’!
Fangirl Interrupted!
I honestly think that I may just start posting a weekly thing about how everything is going in my life. This week is much much better than last.
I’ve got a new couch and got rid of that horrible grey beast that lurked in my house for several years, I’ve got my furniture moved around and situated. ExBF will be returning to Bloomington after his visit to a friend down in Alabama. Rhys I know is looking forward to it.
He will be staying with me for a little while and then he’ll be moving to a friends house. Things between him and I have been friendly awkward.
The stress levels in my life have gone down drastically. Through writing, yes writing, not a lot but a little bit each day. Gaming has helped and talking to my friends.
Recently, I’ve thought about giving up posting on the blog simply because it seems to be shifting gears so much that my little updaters seem highly out of place. For those of you that don’t know and I won’t go into extreme detail, Tim and I got into a really bad fight. Things were said that neither of us meant but it’s put a strain on our friendship. We are both trying to salvage as much as we can from the wreckage. I am hoping that one day we both wake up and realize that we are both being stubborn asses and we both get over ourselves.
I need Tim in my life, I always have, I always will. He is probably one of the few people who have been by my side through everything and right now he’s not there. He’s not entirely to blame for this. A lot of it was me. My mood shifted and slowly started locking myself in my head and pushing away what mattered most. And it took losing it for me to realize that I still care for Tim as my friend. My best friend. So much so that I’m willing to publicly tell everyone, I was in the wrong for treating him less than stellar when he’s been nothing but awesome for me.
I wish things could go back to the way they were, but as we live our lives. We grow, we change and as the old adage goes a branch that does not bend, breaks. I’m slowly feeling my way around this new life, but I’d like to keep some of the old one.
Another note of Zodi is I have found myself with an amazing amount of free time. This is because I was screwed out of my job. Do not fret none! I am fighting this. You see the day I called out of work, knowing I had half a point left of the six infractions we were allowed, I had no electric. I live in the States, it’s the middle of winter and no electric, means no heat for me. In a moment of desperation, I called out of work no knowing if I was going to be staying here in my apartment or if I was going to have to crash at a friends place for the night until I could get my electric sorted. This caused me to lose my job and my boss was very gracious about letting me off. Telling me he’d give me a good reference and avoid the topic of my attendance et cetera. However, I feel that I was terminated unfairly because my circumstance was fairly precarious. I have a child, his well-being comes before any job.
So yes, free time. This means I’m going to be watching lots and lots of movies and TV series. Currently on that list is Heroes. I’ve wanted to watch it since it’s come out, but haven’t because reception out here sucks monkey butt and I just realize how unprofessional I sounded say that. Ha! Anyways. I might see about doing a weekly Zodiview on whatever I’m watching at the time.
I’ve managed to break the vicious gaming cycle and have only started to play the game from sometime after the kidlet goes to bed til maybe 2 or 3 in the morning. Which really is as bad as playing nearly twenty-four hours a day.
I’m also getting my house in order and things shifted around to look more appealing for me and my changes. Yay. I’m really excited because I will be entering editing mode, which has taken a huge back burner since the less than epic battle of Zodi and Tim. Yes Tim, that’s right. You’re editor girl is back and dammit I want more work.
Slowly but surely I’m pullin’ it all together.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
PS who stole my insert image button?
Bug Meet Winshield
Recently there has been some epic drama in the life of Zodi. I posted that the bf…though now Exbf and I split up. Currently I’m trying to survive being a single mom with a next to single income. Don’t let anyone tell you different, this is extremely difficult and at times painful.
Everything in my life except my gaming has come to a near screeching halt. The writing is next to non-existent. I sort of lost the bug. There are other things that are affecting this but they don’t really need to be discussed as it would open up a whole can of worms I’m not willing to deal with.
For those that it involved and you know who you are; I’m sorry. For everything and all the crap that went down.
I’m hoping that with all these changes in my life I will be able to get back on the ball and start working on writing again. Thank you all to everyone who has supported me and fanned the museling flames to keep me writing. Keep coming back and checking, updates will be sporadic at best.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
Tim’s Hijack
For some reason, I feel I have to do this again, as the title reminded me of it.
All Good Things Come To An End
After almost four years, BF and I decide to call it quits. Happy new year to me.
I rang in the new year with an argument and consequential break up. Yet the only one hurting from this is me. As many of you know, boyfriend and I fought a lot, but we always seemed to make it through. Except this time.
Now I have told boyfriend since day one, which was March 17th, 2006 that I didn’t want to get married again. Maybe one day in the far future but I was going through a divorce at the time. It’s a few years later and I still haven’t changed my mind. Boyfriend wants the all American dream. The perfect wife (who I can’t be), two kids (of his own, giving me three), the white house with the white picket fence (something I used to want.) I can’t and don’t want to give him this.
Why? I’m scared. I have serious commitment issues and have for a very long time. I know this and struggling to make things work in my life. A big reason is I never gave myself a chance to heal. Like my mother told me in not so many words, it’s my own fault.
I walked out on my marriage. I was no longer happy, and I wanted to be free. He and I did and said a lot of things we both regret, we’ve since apologized and things are okay between us. Chris is my friend and my son’s father. There is a lot more to this than what I’m dishing up here, but these are things that will remain between myself and Chris.
It was shortly after Chris got on a plane back to Wales that I jumped into a relationship head first like a lovesick teenager. Mistake number one. I should have waited, I should have allowed myself a little bit of time to heal, to get over Chris. But I didn’t. Mistake number two, I moved in almost immediately with boyfriend. Again it goes with the whole healing process. But in moving in with boyfriend I was helping him. His parents, or rather I should say his mother, didn’t like me from day one. The day I moved out to Indiana was the same day she changed the locks and told him “Don’t come home if you plan on being with that girl.”
Okay I get the whole protect the Christian family image. Bf’s father was a Pastor, and it would look bad on them if their son was with a woman who was for all intents and purposes still married and had a kid. Yep, I was the black sheep. I had ostracized myself from my family, moved in with a friend, had my new boyfriend move in as well and was hated by BF’s entire family. This woman would stop at nothing to keep me from being with him, but in the end I won and she just stopped. I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
So here I am in 2010 and I’m single. This time, I’m going to take my time, allow myself to heal and reflect on the all the good times Zach and I did have. Once he moves out.
That’s right, he’s going to stay here. Awkward? Absolutely. Really he just went from boyfriend to friend+benefits/roommate. This was a mutual agreement. Reasons are simple, he knows that I am not financially stable to make it on my own even though I say I can. I also can’t drive. Obviously this is going to take a top priority now since I have to be able to fend for myself in the real world.
While things are awkward, we seem okay. Most of the time and at least that’s what the facade is that I can front some of the time. You see, while I want a period of healing, and letting my heart naturally fix itself, he’s already looking into another relationship with a girl from down south. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does since the wounds are still so fresh. He tells me about her text messages, which I don’t want to know about. He tells me what his plans are eventually, which I don’t care about. And he shows me pictures of her, which up until a minute ago, was his phone wallpaper. Yep, that’s the part that hurts the most.
This girl is everything I would kill to be. She’s thin, but not too thin, she’s got a great complexion, she’s just that damn pretty. And that is what hurts, though I think it would hurt still if she was just another girl in general, someone averagely overweight. I don’t even feel comfortable doing anything intimate with him because I automatically think to myself, he’s not seeing me. That throws gas on the insecurity fire.
While I know everything will get better in time, I can’t help but to be afraid. I’m scared that I am not going to be able to find someone who will love me, and my son. Thus branding me an untouchable. I’m afraid to be alone, but scared to death of being with someone. It also hurts not having the one person I could rely on the most. My mom. The icing on the cake. When I needed her to tell me, sweetie it’ll be okay, and just give me a shoulder to cry on. She unleashed unholy hell on me. Telling me I couldn’t break up with him because I was afraid I would do to Zach what I did to Chris. That it wasn’t fair, and then going on about everything else that is in my life. I know I wasn’t very nice in telling her that the next time I would want to talk to her would be the second day after never, but I was angry, still am. But it doesn’t make me want my mom any less.
It’s been painful since I’ve been out here, only seeing mom once in a while on webcam and only one visit back home. Sure I should call her a lot more, but I don’t. And there are valid reasons for it. There’s a reason I hate getting voicemailed, it’s because I used to get it a lot with my mom. Mostly because of the fact mom was dating a crazy nut case. But I stopped calling mom in general because I used to get her voicemail.
Eventually I’ll stop feeling sorry for myself, and get over being angry and sulky about the shitty deal I got when I needed a shoulder. But for right now, I’m going to be angry and sulky. I also know that I’ll eventually get over BF. I just need to focus myself and focus more on my son to be a strong, awesome mommy that he sees me as.
I’ve got a lot of friends, real online life friends to say the least, but friends nonetheless who are there for me when I need them. Tim being one of the big ones, distracting my mind when I need it. Several other friends from City of Heroes are there for me as well when I need a few minutes to vent and rant and even cry on their shoulders, so I’ll be okay. I hope so at least.
Keep it real and rockin’
Bah. Effin. Humbug.
Yep, it’s that time of year again.
You know what I’m talking about.
Christmas.
It’s that magical time of year, when people lose their fucking minds in the name of Christmas cheer and holiday spirit.
I hate this holiday.
Why? Because things changed so much that it no longer became a fun holiday. Reason for this is simple. I grew up. Scary ain’t it?
When I was a kid, I used to get so excited about getting dressed up in my tights and shiny tip-tap shoes and the standard fancy holiday dress, then going to Grandmom’s house Christmas eve.
Grams’ place was the awesome place. She would go all out for decorating. Lights, tree, ornaments. Now Grams’ house was small, it was only her and Grampy there except on Christmas eve. Then it was Grams, Grampy, Uncle Mike, Mom, dad, Me and then later on there was my brother, Aunt Jen, and my two cousins. With everyone there, all the gifts, and all the food, plus furniture it was cramped. But we loved doing this every year.
The year I was considered no longer a kid, was kind of a shock. The living room was usually packed with the kids’ gifts. Four or five of us kids at times. When I turned 18, my gift pile got smaller, and my stuff was moved to the adult stuff. Now I loved all of my gifts that I got and was thankful them but I couldn’t help feeling like the fun of Christmas was over.
No longer was I asked for a Christmas list, I was an adult.
There was also the year my family started to fall apart. That was a painful. Thankfully there was enough of a facade of a happy family to make it through one last Christmas together. Opened up presents in the morning, Dad got to smile to see his family happy because they had things they wanted. But… when January rolled around, and the power was shut off, we knew why.
It wasn’t until recently that I explained to both my parents that I knew how much they did for us, and how much the sacrificed to make sure we had everything we wanted for Christmas. Many people see me ditzy and unobservant, but that’s just a mask. I knew what issues my parents were having, but it didn’t matter to me at the time. I was a kid, and it was Christmas. Mind you this was all after I stopped believing Santa.
Now I have a kid of my own and I would do anything to see him smile. Including watching my accounts go negative for the millionth time, paying the NSF fees, letting my rent and other bills lapse just so I can make sure that he has a great Christmas.
In doing this it’s made me realize I understand what it means to give up everything for someone just to make them smile. I understand why my dad never gave us a Christmas list. All I want for Christmas is to see my family smile.
However, it doesn’t make me like the holiday anymore. I’m just better at hiding it. Every year I drag out my decorations, tree, and make 3d paper snowflakes. And every year I smiles and pretend to be cheerful so my son doesn’t worry. But I know in my heart one year he’s going to know I’m faking it. I just hope by then he’ll be old enough to understand.
A big reason I dislike Christmas is the fact it cost so much money. Gifts. Now I don’t have a lot of money, I never have. So when my family sends money for their gifts, I take one and make it the to so and so; from some family member. Everything comes from Santa. Mom told me this is the way it should be, and it probably is. But really it’s more like easing my conscious for being so poor I can hardly afford gifts. Santa is a good scapegoat.
I do hope that one year I do get my Christmas spirit back, but for now, I’ll just keep wearing the mask.
Keep it real and rockin’
Zodi Guide To Surviving Black Friday
As many of you know, I work in retail. I’ve been in retail for 11 years and have seen my fair share of Black Fridays.
Step 1. Resist the urge to do any shopping this day. Once you break a buck, you’ll want to spend more. I don’t care how tempting that Old Navy Fleece for 9 dollars is. Just walk away.
Step 2. Don’t leave your house. Upon doing so you will avoid the throngs of people and crowded places that give even the most social people claustrophobia.
Step 3. Hide under the blankets. Like the boogey man, if it can’t see you, it has to go away.
Now, those of us who unfortunately have to work black friday, if you work anywhere that is retail you will know and understand me when I say “them bitches is crazy.”
Crazy retail shoppers who make maps and have walkies talkies are the ones you can expect to give you trouble at the checkout. You’re best bet to survive these women is to steel yourself against anything they may or may not say. Things like “Are you sure this isn’t 25% off as well,” or my personal favorite is when they forget to say thank you.
I am human, you do not scream at me like I’m your red headed step child in the middle of Kmart. I’m here at my register, missing out on my own sales to make your life easier. If you show up after the coupon expires, that’s not my problem. No I will not give you the kindness of the Christmas Spirit. I am doing my job so I don’t get in trouble.
I had a customer today who screamed and I mean SCREAMED at me because of the fact there was a sign that was wrong. Even as I was in the middle of changing it to the correct price she still continued to berate me, going as low as to call me stupid. My manager was kind enough to escort her from the store when he saw I was in tears. You madam are a c-word.
The next evil customer I had decided to only speak broken English and then scold me for not giving her the best deal, even though I was trying to. Sheesh lady, but it says on the coupon “doorbuster items are not included.” Mangerman stepped in a again to save me. Oh and don’t think you get off the hook of being the pain in the ass customer by apologizing to me for giving me hell.
I hate black friday, more and more each year. Today I only had two customers out of 300 that ripped me a new one for no reason. It’s these two customers that stand out in my mind more than others because they are problem shoppers.
All in all this was probably the easiest of the 7 black fridays I’ve been apart of. I didn’t like the 5 am wake up call, nor having to be at work at 6 am. However, it was steady work for the whole eight hour shift. When I say steady I mean, I never left my register except for my breaks and even those I was late taking because of the rush of people.
Zodi arrived at work: 5:55
Clocked in at 6
Rush of people at 6:10
First break at 7:30
Rush of people from 7:45 to 9
Problem customer number 1 9:10
Zodi went to brunch 9:30
Rush of people and a mild lull 10 to 11
Zodi’s last break 11:00
Rush rush rush rush until 12
Problem customer number 2 12:15pm
Steady flow of people until 1pm
Trickle of customers 1:15
Zodi clocked out at 2
I think next year and every year here after, I am not only going to request off from work, but I’m hiding Boyfriend’s car keys. I will not be apart of this madness that has crazy turkey filled people rushing around looking for the best deals. Screw that, I’ll pay extra for convience of not getting trampled.
Keep it real and rockin’
A Voice Unheared
It’s been such a long time since I’ve posted anything that I almost feel guilty. Almost.
It’s been very busy for me with prepping for my son’s birthday party, now the holidays. Balancing game time with my new friends and old ones, as well slotting in time to actually make money by working.
So much has happened over the past few weeks that I’ve been sort of out of it. So much so that I have been a horrible friend, less than dedicated player and an even worse worker.
I think right now that I’ve got it all sorted out in cracking down. I’ve one more issue to jump over and if I survive this then I’m sure I will be just fine.
You see the other day I had a thought collision in the most epic sort of way. I was thinking one thing and blurted something else out. The result was I was sent home early, but this was a bad enough comment that it could affect my job. So we shall see when I go back in tomorrow.
Now that the party is over and done with, and I only need to worry about party, I’m much calmer and slowly coming to terms with the fact I may not be able to do this without a helping hand.
However I am trying first, to see if i tread water just enough to keep from sinking. I do know when I need to reach for help that there will be more than enough people to help pull me out.
With that being said. I’d like to share with you what I have been writing. I do hope you enjoy it.
Until It’s Too Late
The Sanctuary was quiet except for the whirring and whizzing of the machines and other technologies that filled the massive structure. The soft click of a woman’s boots tapped against the flooring softly as she made her way through the halls of the still new base. She was still learning her way around and jokingly thought they should invest in map kiosk like those at a mall.
The defenses of the base were of no danger to her. Deactivating once they recognized the coding that was laced inside her small Codex Cross. They wouldn’t notice. No one would. Not until it was too late. Even the woman wouldn’t know.
“Good evening, Grey Kestrel,” a smooth robotic voice called out. “Did all go well with the soul crystals?”
“Hello GENI,” Kestrel replied in a confident voice. “Could you assist me in some paperwork for CSIS please?”
Kestrel wanted to avoid the topic of their narrow escape from the swarm of demons that appeared when they discovered the last crystal’s box. Nine out of ten were in a secure location, for the moment. Or at least until Azuria became clumsy again. The mission had been a failure, everyone had been disappointed by it, some even angered.
This included a Valkyrie named Avalona who Kestrel had to talk down from storming back in to finish them off. Avalona, now spent her evening house sitting; playing hide and seek with the snipers that had found her location out quicker than normal. The plan was simple; instead of stealth attacks to protect the apartment, why not instill fear in enemies. And nothing spoke fear louder than a seven foot tall elven Valkyrie
“Will you be uploading to the mainframe?” GENI replied waiting instruction.
“Yes,” she replied.
Niaomi made her way to the comforting surrounding of the lounge. It was thankfully empty for the moment. She smiled faintly and produced a small laptop and placed on the counter. After plugging it in and powering up, she moved behind the fully stocked bar to the coffee maker. Eying the pot, she grimaced wondering just how long it was sitting for.
“It’s fresh, Lieutenant Running Cloud,” GENI called out. “I just made it moments before you walked in. Is it going to be a long work night?”
“I think so. Thank you GENI,” Niaomi replied, pouring herself a cup. Two creams and two sugars later, she leaned on the counter scrolling through her files.
Niaomi stopped at the one titled BATTLE SUIT DATA RETRIEVAL. Carefully, she opened a small port on her wrist gauntlet and removed the tiny disc within, she then replaced that disc within the laptop. As the reports uploaded, her eyes grew wide.
“This can’t be right,” she said out loud. “This– Baz is going to have a field day over this. GENI please send this to Baz immediately. Priority high.”
“Very well,” the intelligence unit stated “Done.”
While Niaomi’s fingers flew over the keys of her laptop, her comm crackled and a slew of swear words momentarily deafened her. Fyrewalker Montrenne had made her presence and dislike for the circle of thorn that much more known.
“My sentiments exactly,” She replied over the comm with a slightly chuckle. “Allison King can kiss my Native American ass, after that flop.”
“And a damn nice one it is, too. So. Whose ass are we kicking in the interim” Fyre replied jovially.
“Been flashing that ass around an awful lot lately, no?” Another voice chimed in.
“I don’t know yet Fyre,” Niaomi replied, choosing to ignore the playful banter from Mercy.
“Well give me your GPS anyway,” Fyre said, “And wait ’til you hear what Niaomi has planned for your frontage, Mercy.”
“Dead horse,” Kestrel replied. The last thing she wanted to do right now was rag on Mercy about her breasts again.
“But you said it!” Fyre kept going. “Something about crystals, as I recall. Glitter? Ring a bell?”
“Yeah something about beating the shit out of DE enough to make you some glitter for your boobs Merce,” Kestrel replied with snort of a laugh. Her fingers still flew over the keyboard of her lap top.
“Glitter?You must have me confused with Crysta,” Mercy said in her usual sarcastic manner.
It was doubly sarcastic as Mercy entered the base. Niaomi noted that her top looked much more secure than the night previously, but said nothing as she went back to looking the screen. It was only a moment later that Fyre walked in. The banter started and Niaomi shook her head at some of the retorts that were made.
“GENI upload this to CSIS file 93278,” Niaomi said.
Even though she wasn’t feeling it, Niaomi made a weak attempt to tell Mercy that boys would be the only ones interested in. The joke fell through, and Kestrel once again studied the screen.
So much for paper work getting done. She sighed as she told GENI to upload the last file. The banter around her was becoming to distracting. It was clear more people were going to show up, not that she minded. If she wanted silence, she should have went home. Niaomi opened the suit file again as she listened to Mercy tell Shizaru where they were at. He might be interested in this.
“We’re in the lounge, looking at Facespace or some shit,” Mercy commented over the comm. To who, Kestrel didn’t know.
The warping noise of Shizaru teleporting made her look over her glasses to where he stood, leaning against the wall.
“Shiz!” Mercy said with a cheerful grin. “What up, Squid?”
“Hey Mercy,” he replied back to her just as cheerfully.
“Thank you for saving my ass in those caves,” Niaomi said as she looked over the top of her glasses to Shizaru.
“It’s no big deal,” the Warshade told her modestly. “You would have gotten out with or without my help.”
“ I think I might’ve stayed in there just to avoid the Void who kept blowing holes into my suit,” she said with a faint chuckle.
Twice she had to be ported back by him after a Void went after her. Twice she ended up in a crystal cell. The first time, he worked on one side and she the other until the crystal door shattered. The memory was still quite fresh in her mind and the oddities that were affecting her suit gave her a cause for alarm, but also aroused a decent amount of curiosity.
“What the–?” Niaomi said staring at her screen.
The ratings were off the chart, she didn’t understand what was going on. Her laptop beeped, letting her know that it had finished uploading the stats from the disc. Popping it out she placed it back into her wrist gauntlet. She turned the screen so that Shizaru could see it, hoping that maybe he could translate what exactly she was looking at. The way she read it, the plasma from the Void’s rifle was eating away at the liqavar.
“Jeez, what’s making it do that?” He asked her.
“Whatever the shit is that they shoot,” she explained. “Essentially making me just as vulnerable as you.”
By this time, Niaomi noted the new presence in the lounge. Had she been listening to her comm, she would have known he was coming, along with a stack of books. She didn’t say much to him as she continued looking over the screen.
“It seems liqavar and void goo don’t mix,” she stated.
“Liqavar?” Shizaru asked.
“’Void goo’” Mercy commented with a chuckle.
“It’s the material that my suit is made of,” Niaomi explained, not taking her eyes off the screen. “It’s literally liquid Kevlar.”
Mercy had returned to her conversation about books with the new comer. Niaomi just then realized that Fyre had wondered off. Fyre was an enigma to Kestrel, spilling most of her life story in a matter of minutes to she and Max. Niaomi didn’t feel pity for Fyre, though she did feel rather motherly towards the girl. She saw a lot of good in Fyre’s eyes, it was just buried deep under the history of her past. With a little work, Niaomi might be able to assist her even further.
She had learned while standing there, that the newcomer’s name was Zen and that he was currently researching something in the vast pile of books that surrounded him. The comm had crackled to life again; this time it was Westford.
“GENI, see if you can reverse the effects of the Void plasma,” Niaomi said calmly.
Watching the screen of her laptop she noted the fusion between the plasma and the liqavar. The possibilities of it making a new substance that was stronger and sturdier than just the liqavar alone set the gears into motion.
“Ah ha!” Niaomi exclaimed, popping the disc out of the laptop. She replaced it back in the gauntlet and took off to the teleport bay.
Ghost Stories: The Wrap Up and Other News
Welcome to the day after Halloween. Yesterday was a blast, and we hope that you found all of our blog posts useful and entertaining as we did when we wrote them up.
I’d like to give many thanks to the friends I have out there on the internet who were kind enough to post banners on their websites and offer a guest post for the blog.
James Melzer
Jennifer Hudock
Philippa Ballentine
Ray Onativia
Rope (A city of Heroes fried of mine and Tim’s)
Ya’ll rock my socks.
Tim and I had a goal this month of 5,000 views. We met and exceeded that goal with 5,905. Thank you all for clicking and viewing.
Another exciting thing was we were getting hits from scifiwire.com, which is a website powered by the SyFy channel. We appreciate this very much. We can’t express verbally how awesome everyone has made us feel.
Now to what went on Halloween!
I had decided in the beginning of the month that I was going to make completely homemade costumes. I didn’t really (and never really) have the money to spend on a costume for myself or for my kidlet. However I was in the Halloween store more for his birthday party that is coming up than I was for anything that actually dealt with Halloween.
This year I spent a whole 12 dollars and some change on his costume. My little boy went out as a gumball machine. It wasn’t a hard thing to construct. Some balloons, a clear trash bag, three glow sticks and a red turtle neck and pants. I also painted a small box bright colors and put fifty cents on the sides.
The reaction from people were priceless, they loved how creative it was and gave out candy by the tons.
I was working with my brother’s digital camera, since mine wonder off into the unknown and the time stamp was activated as well as wrong so all of my pictures were taken on 01/01/2007. Amazing how I can change weather conditions, as well as go to the past for pictures.
LGIB went Trick or Treating with me as well. Though she was too scared to knock on some of the doors unless I made her do it. Her costume was a goth girl and she doesn’t normally like her picture taken in the first place so I was unable to get a picture of her in her costume.
Now in Bloomington there is a time frame of which children are allowed to Trick or Treat. 5:30pm to 8:30pm the little goblins and ghouls and in my case gumball machines can trick or treat in safety. At 8:30 the trick or treating is over. However this doesn’t stop the festivities that continue well into the wee hours of Halloween. Bloomington being a college town has to be strict when it comes to the safety and comfort of it’s residences.
I also decided to dress up this year. I went with something I knew I could pull off and would be inexpensive for me as well. A Gypsy. I already owned skirts, dress, and other gypsy things. But this year I went a little more out and spent a few dollars on some jewelry, hair extensions and a scarf.
This was the result. I felt this year was more successful for the Halloween month than any previous year. It’s been an exciting month to say the least.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
A Taste of Fall
Well the weather this week has be crazy. Last week it did nothing but rain. I was so sick of the rain after twenty-four hours that it starting to affect my mood. Everyone noticed that it was weather. You see I suffer from SADS (Seasonal Affective Disorder,) simply put, I get depressed when it grey and cloudy for an extended period of time. Normally this doesn’t occur until winter rolls through. At times it’s a crippling disorder. Causing myself and millions of others to not want to get out of bed or do the norm for us.
So yesterday (Monday) I was excited to go to work because it was sunny outside. It was also cold and the wind had a bite to it. The previous week, the air was still warm enough for me to turn my AC on just to cool off my place enough to breathe without breathing water. Yes it was that humid.
Now I love fall, between all of the seasons spring and fall are my favorite. Fall more than spring because there is more color. The rich browns, golds, and red, the warm earthy colors that tell you snow is coming. I enjoy the crisp mornings and standing outside to smell the seasons. That’s right I said smell the seasons. Try it some time.
Winter has a cold, crisp smell. Everything smells fresh and new. It also looks pretty when the snow is piled up and still coming down. Yes I know the dangers of the roads I grew up in Philadelphia, and have seen what a blizzard can do to a city that large. But it doesn’t fail to impress me.
Spring has that fresh, wet dirt smell. New flowers filling the air with their fragrance. Life of all sorts waking up or in some cases being born. I remember the first spring I had when I was out of high school. I saw the world in a whole new light. Everything looked brighter and green. It was amazing to watch the yearly flowers coming into bloom seeing them start out as little bulbs and becoming a hyacinth, daffodil, tulip and even lilies. I was lucky enough to live where I could see new life beginning. It was truly a cool thing.
Summer smells like heat, that musky dry smell with a spice kicker. Summer is a great season too but not a favorite only because it’s too stinkin’ hot at times. Humidity kills me, but it’s a sign of great things coming. Like cookouts, outdoor activities, swimming and for kids it’s a mark that school is over for several months. The other good thing about the summer is everyone in my immediate family has a birthday in the summer. Dad is July 8, Brother is July 16, mine is July 23. I’m older by five years and fifty-one weeks. Finally there’s Mom, she celebrates her birthday the 26 of August.
Now on to fall. Fall has that earthy smell without spice. It’s more of a mellow decay smell. My favorite smell is that sun baked leaf smell. Just after it rains and the sun dries the leaves. The leaves falling, while messy, looks amazing . Sure it’s a closing of warmer months, but it a kind reminder that family celebrations are coming. Halloween, Thanksgiving. My only thoughts when the month of November hits is ohemgee where’s my turkey! I love Thanksgiving, not so much the family part but the food part, oh yeah all over that.
So as I was saying, last week my AC was on, this week I open my windows and put the fan in. It’s cool enough that it requires a warm coat to step outside in. I’m sad to see the vacationing season close, but excited that my fall is just as busy as my summer. It will bring about a new set of things for Rhys and I to do. Like collecting leaves. This year, we’ll be able to save those leaves that finds and press them.
It’s also a time to head to the apple orchard for some fresh cider, apple butter and of course apples. Then there’s hay rides and my favorite holiday. Halloween. It’s become cooler since I’ve had Rhys because I still technically get to go trick or treating. It brings up a lot of good memories and helps to make many more.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
The Epic Adventure to Save My Dad
Let it begin!
It all started last night, it was a cool and breezy night. I had just got off work and was relaxing in front of my favorite toy, the computer. I was doing my usual thing, checking emails, the lols, and getting ready to play City of Heroes with Tim and Mort. When all of a sudden boyfriend told me that Dad’s truck broke down.
Well crud.
Now my dad was stranded somewhere in Pennsylvania with no money and no way home. Not even two seconds later my telephone rang. Dad’s ears must’ve been ringing because it was him on the other end. I answered “Hello, where are you?” He replied with “Hello, State College.”
Okay so he was some place I was familiar with, but not that familiar. He promised me he was safe and tucked in for the night. He must’ve been lonely because he kept me on the phone for a good twenty minutes letting me know what happened and where exactly he was. Finally he was tired enough to pass out and we said good night.
This morning, I get up at 5:15am to let LGIB in the door so her mom can get to work. Back to sleep I go once I get her settled in. Then at 6:30 my alarm clock goes off telling me it’s time to get up and moving so I can get Rhys on his bus and LGIB on hers. So I slap the snooze button.
Twenty minutes later the phone rings, blinded by the light of the phone I answer groggily “Hello?” It’s dad on the line “Gooooood morning.” I can only grunt at this point, mentally thinking to myself, the sun isn’t up yet and you are telling me good morning.
“Is your computer fired up?”
“No, I’m not even awake yet?”
“Okay, I need you to…”
“Wait dad, lemme get out of bed first and get the computer started up before you list me off things to do. I’ll call you in a few minutes.”
“Alright, bye”
So I rolled out of bed, begrudgingly I might add and started my day. I got Boyfriend up and made his coffee, pulled Rhys from his sleep and got him in the bathroom and started up my computer. While the coffee was doing its thing and my computer doing its. I got my son ready for school. Socks, pants, shirt and shoes. By this time it’s 7:10am, so we go outside and wait for his bus. I send the kidlet off to school and go back upstairs to call dad. Still groggy and missing the warmth of my bed, I open up my firefox.
“I need you to go to Chase and tell me how much is in there.”
“‘kay.” *yawn*
Last night I had told him there was nothing new to the account and he told me his check should be in this morning. Me not remembering this at that time was expecting to see x amount of dollars again and hear “Aww what the piss” from dad.
I logged into his account and seen there was more than last night. I told him this and this is where the epic adventure to save my dad begins truly.
“I need you to go to bank and then to walmart and wire me some money.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Zach has the car and is at work. He won’t be home until 4ish.”
“Dammit there goes that plan.”
“Is there a Wal-mart near by?”
“I don’t know.”
“Alright lemme check.”
So I go to walmart.com and use the store locater and find there is one just down the road a piece from where he was sitting at. I tell him it’s 3 miles away and if he could get a ride I’ll figure out a way to get to walmart.
“What about what’s her name?”
“Donnella?”
“Yeah.”
“Uh lemme call her and see if she has the van.”
Once again we hang up and I call Donnella, turns out her boyfriend has the van and won’t be home until lunch time. Crap on a stick. So then it clicks, oh yeah there’s a bus and it goes to walmart! So I let her know I’ll take the bus and talk to her later.
I call dad back and tell him it was a no go with Donnella and explain my clever plan to ride the bus to wal-mart. Which I could easily have walked, but they’re lacking sidewalks in this city, at least down this end of town. I get dad to activate the debit cards so I can use it to send him some cash. Yes that’s right, the debit cards are here. He was already on the road when they came in. So he got them activated, and called me back. He informed me that they are bussing him home via greyhound and I’ll just have to pick him up in Indy.
Great. I hate Indy.
Anyways, we get the cards sorted and I get dressed, pull my hair back and out the door I go. I stand at the bus stop and wait and wait, and wait some more. I’ve ridden buses before. Everything I needed to get to was within a bus route as I was growing up in Philly. Two other passengers show up, I’ll call them the mumblers, because any time they spoke it was mumbles. And man did the mumblers stink. The wind was blowing west to east and I was standing downwind of body odor. Gag. Finally the bus shows up and I get on. The bus driver didn’t recognize me and asked me if I needed a transfer. I told him no and took a seat at the front of the bus since I wasn’t going to on long.
I asked the driver if there was another stop on the front side of Wal-mart he said yes and let me off there. I kid you not when I say I paid a buck to ride 4 minutes down the road to Wal-mart.
I went to the money center and filled out all the boxes so I could send my dad his money. After waiting for the woman to not be distracted enough, and send the right amount, we were good. Then I had to hunt up a pay phone because I don’t own a cell phone that actually has minutes on it and call him with the information. Finally we get that squared away and I go back into wal-mart to break a ten so I could take the bus back. I kid you not when I say I’m too lazy to walk the whole mile back to my house.
Standing at the bus stop, there was a gentleman who was kind enough to tell me the time and that the bus should be here soon. We joked about how I would save a buck just by walking home. We chit-chatted about our families and how hard the economy was being. Then we fell silent, awkwardly and I put my nose in a magazine I bought. The bus shows up about ten minutes late. I grew up in the city and never take actual times for what they are and consider them approximate times. I sit on the front again and take my four minute ride home.
The bus driver was nice enough to tell me not to walk in front of the bus and wait for it to pass, that there had been numerous people hit by cars that went around. So I stepped off and waited for it to move, thanking the bus driver for the lift as I was taught to do. You’d be surprised how much better their day is when people say thanks for the ride.
Once the bus passed, there were several cars waiting to go. The woman in the car just behind the bus saw me get off and waved me across the street. It’s people like that make me happy I live in Bloomington. Surprisingly enough, this town still impresses me with the amount of polite people it has.
Finally I walked in the door to await a phone call from my dad telling me he got the money.
I just received said phone call, he’s got his money, and he’s on his way to the bus depot to come home. I pick him up at 3 am in Indianapolis.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
Word of the day: Vi-Co
Ask anyone from Saskatchewan (anyone over the age of 30) what chocolate milk is and they might respond with one word.
Vi-Co.
Vi-Co was actually an American chocolate milk product that in the late 50′s Co-op Dairies in Saskatchewan bought the rights to. It appeared in a small, brown can and later became familiar in the wax-cardboard container. There in bold letters was the word on the side of the carton. Vi-Co. It was an easy word to say. Instead of saying “I’m getting a chocolate milk” people would say “I’m getting a Vi-co” or, as it became known, just simply vico.
When you went into a store and asked for some, the cashier new exactly what you were asking for. The word was so utterly Saskatchewan by the time the 1970′s rolled around that it wasn’t even funny. It was as common as bunny hug, or ski-doo, or toque. Everyone knew what you meant.
When I grew older and began my first stint in broadcasting, I moved to Manitoba. I was over joyed when I went into a store and saw the familiar Vi-Co staring back at me through the dairy isle cases.
Ever since Dairy Producers was bought out by Dairy World, the brand name has been phased out, which is quite sad. I often wonder if during this day and age of retro, if Dairy World started selling Vi-Co again, would there be a resurgence of chocolate milk sales? Maybe, because for many people in Saskatchewan, Vi-Co means a lot. It’s like a familiar spot, or an old friend. It brings back so many memories.
Until next time…
…keep ‘em flyin’!
Zodi Hijack
Chocolate milk. How hard is it to say that? I don’t think I’ve ever come across anyone in my life who has called it Vi-co, then again I’m American. I’ve never heard anyone call it Ovaltine, or Nesquick. I have heard it called a variety of other things. Brown moo-moo, choco-moos and my personal favorite. Bunny milk. I also have a three year old, he adores chocolate milk. So these titles are actually common around my house.
In my years of growing up, chocolate milk was only something we got a resturant when the family went out to supper. There was many times, that we got milk with chocolate flavoring. For some reason parents seem to think that we’d get hyped up on the sugar. Often this wasn’t case and if it was, we’d often get so sugar high’d that we crash out way before bed time.
Now that my kid is growing up and we do the family dinner things, I allow him little luxuries I never had. For example, blowing bubbles in his chocolate milk when we go out to dinner. My theory on this is, let him do it now, and he won’t do it later in life. It’s like giving a kid candy, eventually they’ll just grow out of it. My father doesn’t the like fact that I let Rhys blow bubbles in his milk, but since it’s the only drink he’s allowed to do it in, I see no problem.
Chocolate milk bubble blowing is healthy. All kids do it, most aren’t allowed to do it. Mine is, so long as the cup has a lid.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
Word of the day: Bunny Hug
There’s a very large movement happening. And it’s whipping a word from the face of the planet. Okay, maybe not the planet, but at least Saskatchewan. It’s been a part of Saskatchewan lingo for decades. People from Alberta and Manitoba can identify someone from Saskatchewan easily when this word is used, and they think we’re weird. I’ve mentioned this word to a few people in the States, who have either given me the odd look, or said “Are you weird?” without hesitation.
The word is bunny hug.
The roots of the word are lost in time. Most everyone has forgotten when or where it originated. Some say it’s most common usage began in the small city of Melfort and spread from there. Others say it started around Swift Current. But as time went on, the word became synonymous with an article of clothing. To the rest of the world that particular article was known as a hoodie or a hooded sweatshirt.
To most everyone in Saskatchewan we called them bunny hugs.
Why? Even that explanation is lost to time. It’s one of those things that always was. It was always called a bunny hug. I grew up ordering high school bunny hugs. Even on the order form that we took home to check off what apparel we wanted, there in bold letters was bunny hug, sitting right along side leather jacket, bomber jacket, sweat shirt and cap. Others say there was a popular brand of hooded sweatshirts that were called Bunny Hug. So the name stuck. It was kind of like Vico. Everyone in Saskatchewan at one time knew Vico meant chocolate milk.
It is with some dismay that I’ll flip through the Star Phoenix and see that ads for clothing shops are giving in to the rest of the world. Gone is the familiar word that describes the warm, fleece article of clothing. In comparison, the word hoodie is cold and sterile. Bunny hug promotes a warm feeling, a feeling that when you put on the clothing, you’re stepping into a warm hug. It’s comforting. It’s familiar. It’s love in an everyday item.
There are those that I’ve met that are not familiar with the Saskatchewan term that have begun using it in everyday language. They find the term quaint, and that’s what it’s really all about. In Saskatchewan, we should take pride in the word.
The Bunny Hug has another usage. Those familiar with early 20th century dance moves would know the term to refer to the dance that began in San Francisco. Popular at the time, it was one of many dance steps that had an interesting term attached to it.
Here, it means a hoodie. And it’s time to bring that term back into full swing, because we can’t lose that part of our history. Each region has some term to describe something. If we lose it, we lose a part of ourselves. We become sterile, bland. Not unique. One University of Saskatchewan English student even went so far to dedicate a thesis to the term, in digging up the origins of the term bunny hug.
For me, bunny hug will be there until the day I die. Right along with stubble jumper, double double, and back 40.
Until next time…
…keep ‘em flyin’!
Zodi hijack
Through out the day today I have been messaging Tim through G-chat and MSN.
Little does he know I’m hijacking the post right now.
Because it’s a damn HOODIE.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
New Plottings of the Epic Kind
I’ll ask for patience while Tim and I seem to be rather sketchy on posting. We are both working lots and lots and don’t have much time for anything. We are planning several things. This will consist of new stories, edits for older ones, edits and writing for Black Mask and Pale Rider, several new Zodiviews on some movies and even some music and books, interviews with podcast authors, Zodi Files and much much more.
We love the fact we have so many readers, it excites us. Please keep checking back frequently for new content and forgive us if we seem lacking. Trust me in due time it will be well worth the wait. I personally am planning a post a day in October even if it’s just to say hi and tell everyone about my day.
*hugs*
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
luv the fangirl
Zodi Slacking
I’m sure most of the readers here that frequent the blog have noticed an extreme decline in the amount of blogs that I have been posting. As everyone knows back in May I had a tragedy befall me. My computer died. Okay so not a big tragedy, but one that left me out of the loop and emailing my blog posts to Tim to post for me.
Since then it’s been once in a while I’ll blog and blog something long enough for it to be considered a blog. For those that don’t understand what I mean…
Zodi Terminology:
Blurb: A post that is less than 500 words
Blog: 500 words or more
Short novel: 1000 words or more.
Of course this is my opinion. Anyways, there isn’t a lack of stuff to post, but something more complex then that. I suffer from Chronic Migraines. I’ve been dealing with a constant migraine off and on for about two or three weeks now. Oddly enough, it’s been linked to several different things; vision, stress, a nervous twitch in my brain. Either way, these migraines have been rocking my world for a while now.
My medication doesn’t really work unless I keep a kicker of excedrin to go along with it.
There is also the fact that my home life just became crazier. My dad found a job and is living with me now. This is only temporary until dad either 1. goes over the road, or 2. gets his own place. I’m happy that he found a job, I’m glad that for once, I’ve been able to help Dad out more than pouring him into bed after a night at the bar. That is however for another story, perhaps a Zodi File. Who knows, we’ll see.Either way, Dad is here to stay and I’m glad. It will help a lot. So anyways, my computer time is pretty limited. My eventual goal is to get a laptop just for my writing and things like that.
Now for another update. As most know, I lost my job back in February. As of 10:15 am of August 12th, I was given and interview, and hired on the spot. So now my computer time will become even more limited. I start Friday and I’m pretty excited. I mean it’s not a glamourous job, but it’s a job nonetheless. I will be working at Michael’s Arts and Crafts store as a sales associate. I will be doing plan-o-grams, stocking shelves and everything else that deal with working on the floor. I’ll be doing back up cashier and dealing with the general public. On top of all of this, I will be doing prep work for the floral area. The thing that really surprised me was the fact that I wasn’t asked a ton of questions about why I wanted to work for the company.
I was asked about my crafting hobbies.
Eventually I’ll get back to blogging/blurbing a lot more, and even getting back into full swing with my edits. Until then please bare with me through my difficulties and laziness.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
Tim’s hijack!
Both Zodi and I have been somewhat negligent in our blog posts. Summer time usually takes it’s toll, but we’ve gone through a lot of things at work. A lot of changes, one of which has me labeling the newspapers on Thursday evening to prepare for Friday delivery. The good thing about that is I get the rest of Friday off after I finish the papers and dropping off all of the recycling materials at the local Cosmo centre. Last Friday I thought that I would write and do some cleaning as part of my afternoon off. My body had other ideas, and I slept for three hours.
Anyway, I have to say I am extremely excited that Zodi has employment again. This means a lot of things.
When you have employment (or other such positive things in your life) it means that other things start picking up as well. That stuff that’s been put off gets done. This is a good thing. Also, as Zodi stated, it’s at a Michael’s craft store. Bonus! Zodi has a very creative personality, and being in such an environment stirs the creative imagination. Having this job also means that things won’t be tight money wise. I know it’s one of those things where you should always look at your life in as positive a light as possible, and not worry about the material wealth. Sadly, the way the world works you need money in order to satisfy even the basic necessities. Something that we just can’t avoid.
Here’s hoping that once fall hits the blog posts will become more frequent. Both Zodi and myself have ideas for further adventures with our characters coming up so look for those in the future.
Until then…
…keep ‘em flyin’!
Some Days You’re The Bug, Other Days You’re Windshield
It’s taken me several years to fully understand the meaning of the title. Really what it means is no matter how you look at it you’re squished or splatted. Recently, this is what I have felt like at home.
I have no job to speak of, unless you include being Suzy Homemaker/wrecker, and a full time mom. Some days are worse than others but for the most part, I am looking forward to getting a paying job. Don’t get me wrong, my jobs do pay off in the end. Raising my son and watching him grow over the years is wonderful, but I want payment in the monetary form.
I’m so sick of being so poor that dirt looks richer than me. I’m perfectly able to to work, it’s just a matter of finding a place to hire me.
Today I blew up big time at everyone in my house. I was yelling at my son because he wouldn’t stop his incessant crying and whining over not being allowed to have cake, I yelled at my brother who has spent the last few weeks either in the shower or on my couch sleeping because of his ears bothering him, and I yelled at boyfriend because all he does is sit around and watch me clean. He doesn’t offer help.
I understand he’s working 99.9% of the time, but would it kill him to empty the dishwasher on his day off? Or even vacuum the living room. I’m not asking a lot from the household, just enough to make it not so overwhelming for me. I have a hell of a task of getting my brother to pick up his underwear off of the bathroom floor. Which three days later I ended up doing because I was sick of stepping on them.
Then there is the fact my brother isn’t a little boy. So when he uses the toilet he’s literally makes my toilet cry and instead of getting some pine-sol and tossing it on the floor, he tosses down a towel and walks out. Meanwhile he knows full well that I’m the one washing clothes by hand because I can’t afford to do laundry.
I’ve lived in my apartment for two months now and I have done laundry once. You would really know that since most of it is bagged up and I keep it well out of sight, but really if you look close enough you’ll see where a weeks worth of clothing is waiting to be washed. What would normally cost me fifteen dollars to do will now end up costing me thirty, and that’s just to wash.
I’m not blogging because I want pity, I’m not even blogging because I want help. I’m doing it so that maybe someone will be able to relate to me and offer me ideas on what I can do, short of leaving. I’m overworked for someone with no job and unpaid entirely for the crap I have to put up with.
I will admit that I did slack off a few days, excitement with the computer coming in and being able to catch up on things I missed over the past month. Who wouldn’t take some techie time to just chillax? However, I need to start cracking down on myself and limit how much I’m doing during the day so I can keep up after the boys in my house.
The only joy I’ve gotten in the past few days is a new kitten that boyfriend managed to catch from a litter of farm cats that live on his grandmother farm. She’s a precious little thing with white body and calico patchwork all over. I’ve named her Koko. Eventually I will have pictures but I have to go finish cleaning the kitchen.
I can only hope that I will have my apartment in order for when Tim comes to visit else I’m going to end up extremely embarrassed or canceling him come to visit.
*sigh* What’s a girl to do?
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
Tim hijack
Well, for starters, there’s no cancelling (short of my car blowing up). Seriously, though, I know how that dirt poor aspect feels. I was that way for a long, long time. I honestly can’t relate with having three other males in the house that aren’t roommates (although, there was this one time I had a roommate on a “temporary situation”… but that’s a story for another time). However, I can offer some encouraging words.
Time will always have something better. I know, it sucks hearing that, because honestly, a person wants it (needs it) right now. The “it” I speak of is a better situation where you can live day to day without worrying about food bills, electric, phone and so on. These are basic needs a person has to have, and we need them right now.
But each and every one of us wants the luxuries. Why? Because for a lot of us, we need them to stay sane. To have a little bit of heaven, so to speak. All I can say is, it will come eventually. You just have to keep plugging away. Sometimes, it feels like a sacrifice, and you just want to curl up into a ball and wait until it’s all over. But the pay off is what makes everything worthwhile.
This is partially for Zodi, mostly for a lot of other people. If you feel like you’re down, and there’s nothing that is coming your way, keep faith, keep working, keep believing. You can do it. I was there at one point. I am also mindful of the fact that as easily as I have found the place I’m in right now, it can all just as easily go away tomorrow, so you have to keep working hard. That becomes easier when you realize that you have made it to a better place in life.
Two things I always tell myself; Never give up.
The second; I win, I always win.
If you keep those in mind, and keep positive, then good things will come around. At some point, even for me, it feels like it’s all going to come unraveled, and everything I’ve worked for is going to go away. When times like that happen, I try to pick myself up and keep going.
I can’t say anything more than what has already been said in other places and by other people. All I can say is there are people out there that have similar fears, similar needs, and just finding someone to lean on often times helps.
For now, I’m gonna bring things full circle. Zodi mentioned the Windshield and the Bug. And it made me think of this.
Until next time…
…keep ‘em flyin’.
Where Oh Where Has Zodi Gone
I’m sitting on a PS3 typing this up, emailing it to Tim and having him post for me because the PS3 will not allow me to see what I am typing. You might ask, “Zodi, why aren’t you using your computer?” Well simplified version, my computer is busted. Something inside the machine decided it needed a telethon and now it doesn’t want to restart correctly. I took it to the computer shop near by and they are currently sorting it out for me. Hopefully, tomorrow I will be back in business.
This all started on Saturday evening, I was playing City of Heroes and my computer started to lock up on me so I had to hard restart, only to have it start up and the monitor not click through at all. Bummer. Not only did this ruin my night, but it messed up my skype, which is my telephone, and bummed Tim out so much that he’s like a herion addict craving a fix.
At first we thought it was my video card, and being me, when I replace something I usually hang on to the old piece as a just in case. But I had just moved and it was in one of many boxes. So Sunday morning I started to get everything unpacked. I knew I had seen it, just couldn’t remember where. Four days later, I discovered said video card, had BF put it in the computer only to have my hopes of a working system shattered with the stupid monitor not clicking off of sleep mode. This was a complete and total bummer.
However, not entirely a loss. I managed to get all but maybe four boxes unpacked, and I am currently working on those. I realized as I got to box number fifteen, that I had a lot of junk. Slowly, and with serious deliberation, I began to throw away things that were broken and probably repairable, but I never got around to it and never planned to, old papers and documents that I completely shreded to protect myself and my family. Of course there was stuff that I had saved over the years thinking that one day I would use it or make something from it. Never the case, I usually packed it away and never bothered with it again.
There were a lot things I found again and kept out in the open so that I would force myself to do something with them. Like a box of cards and trinkets from my baby shower. I have a scrapbook with empty pages, this is what I was saving things for. Of course there are the wedding photos that I have saved just for my scrapbook, and other things that I will eventually put in there.
I’ve decided that over the years I’ve lived in one messy house and then another, This time, now that I have ninty-five percent of my
house in order, it’s going to stay that way. Or I’ll die trying.
This is what I have done to keep myself occupied and kept from going crazy over not having internet. Sure I had the PS3 but Jesus Christ, these things are difficult to work, figure out and make it do what I want to do. You never realize how much you miss your little red X buttons until you don’t have them anymore.
Surely I miss the net, but I really miss my friends, I miss talking in ventrilo and I miss harassing Tim with random Sims 2 pictures. My brother has been awesome in letting me use his Xbox360 so that I might chat with Tim on MSN, but it’s not the same, and I always have to watch what say as I might have an audience at any time. Gossip is something I choose to protect myself from. Unless I’m alone in the room, I tend to avoid certain topics of conversation.
So here’s to hopin’ tomorrow will allow me my life support back and I can get back to a sense of normalcy.
Keep it real and rockin’.
A Part of Me
I’m bisexual.
According to wikipedia being bisexual means that there is a physical or sexual attraction to both sexes. This is very true. I like both men and woman. I have a preference for men, but still desire women at the same time.
Coming to terms with this and understand who I am wasn’t something I just decided to do when I was in high school. It goes way back to before I even knew what bisexual, or homosexual meant. I knew growing up that I was attracted to the female and male body. There was always something about it that made me want to explore more. I remember being little and one of my friends coming over and we would pretend we were strippers, or we played doctor. It’s human nature to be curious and want to see what is different between two peoples bodies.
My first girlfriend was Rachel. Granted we were thirteen, and nothing more than hold hands or the light kiss here and there. We were exclusive to each other. It was hard outside of school for us to see each other and of course back then people weren’t really keen on the LGB lifestyles as they are now. Two girls being with each other, well that was almost unheard of in middle school. So Rachel and I drifted apart.
I first told my mother I was bisexual when I was fourteen. She didn’t believe me. I still don’t think she does. But that’s probably my fault since I didn’t really bring my girlfriends home with me as anything more than girlfriends to hang out with. My mom met most of my girlfriends, but she assumed we were just close friends. At least that’s what I think.
The second girl I fell in love with, I am still in love with until this day. But her life choices have affected our friendship and we are no longer on speaking terms. She was my first “lesbian experience.” We were both scared. I’d like to think that she enjoyed herself as much I enjoyed being with her in such an intimate experience. She and I were on again off again over several years.
I had a few boyfriends, I can count on one hand how many of them lasted more than 2 weeks. The one that left me scorn the most was when I was dating a guy, told him I was bi, and introduced to him to my girlfriend. It was two short months after that that they both left me, for each other.
I made the decision that I wasn’t going to be bisexual anymore and I was only going to date guys. I was lying to myself and I knew it, but I didn’t want to be hurt the way the BF/GF relationship had hurt me. However, even though I swore I was only going to date guys, is when another girl waltzed into my life and left me breathless.
I wanted her in the worse way, and as it turned out I was technically single since my relationship was on line with a man who I eventually married and had a child with. She informed me she was bisexual and interested in me. Though, as it turned out, she was mentally unstable and single-handedly left my family life in ruins. Her father was just as unstable and had her committed for a while. It doesn’t make the experience with her any less special. It’s probably the only thing I still like her about. I won’t go into details about what she did to destroy the family life, but I will say that Jerry Springer would have had a field day.
Then I was back with female lover, by this time I was married and she just didn’t seem as into it. The feeling had changed for me as well. I loved her, but it was more of a sisterly bond so being intimate with her was just awkward. Eventually we just became good friends and now well now we just are.
These relationships never lasted more than a few months, something always seemed to get in the way. I had one person tell me “You aren’t bisexual, you are just bicurious.” I don’t believe this for the simple fact that I am attracted to both genders. I guess I just haven’t found “the one.” I will happily date a woman in place of a man and vice versa. Just never at the same time.
I told Tim a few nights ago that I thought the bisexual chapter of my life would be closed and never looked at again. This is only because it’s taking my heart a long time to repair itself from the lover I lost. Only with time will it heal, but I’m impatient, headstrong, and free spirited. I wear my heart on my sleeve and have a desire to be wanted and loved by everyone. Even though I know that it will never happen. So I put myself in places where I know people will like me and my personality.
Being bisexual isn’t a state of mind, I can’t just turn the page and forget it happened. It’s apart of who I am and I should be proud of that. But seeing what happens to Gays and Lesbians and their constant fight to just be accepted, I tend to stay in the shadows with my sexuality. There are things I just don’t want in my life. For example: “Uh hey, your bi, go hook up with that girl.” Yes I’m bi, no I’m not a toy.
I tell my boyfriends that I am bisexual, and every single one has told me “cool does that mean we get to have a threesome?” When I explain to them No, it doesn’t, that I only date one or other, they get sort of pouty and bummed about it. Does this rule a threesomes? For the most part yes, but this doesn’t mean it’s not possible in the future.
Relationships mean something to me, I don’t want or need one night stands. I also don’t want the ridicule of being bisexual. People freaked out when they discovered I practiced Wicca and called me a devil worshiper and all sorts of other names. Told me I was going to hell, and had a blast tormenting me when I told them I didn’t believe in heaven or hell. I learned real fast how to keep my mouth shut and become one of the silent children of the moon.
I could only imagine what they would have said if they discovered I was bisexual as well.
I’m still coming to terms with the fact, that yes I am bisexual and I always will be. But it’s something I want to deal with in my own way. This isn’t something I need a support group for, because frankly, some the LGB support groups out there, are scary in your faces type. I’m open, but not that open. I live in the start of the Bible belt of America, so it’s better for me to keep my mouth shut on certain things. Especially since my boyfriend’s father, grandfather and grandmother are all pastors. Talk about irony.
Keep it real and rockin’
The Part Time Lesbian
<3
Life Sometimes Sucks
Let me introduce you to the three year old terror that drives me up the wall and forgets I’m too poor to pay the gas.
He may look cute and innocent.
Don’t let that smile fool you. I know you might be tempted to pinch those cheeks, but I digress, he’s evil.
Now I’m sure you are sitting there thinking “What does this little, cute and innocent child do that leaves Zodi stressed and aggravated?”
Well… Lets go back six months when he fell out of the window. I think it may have triggered something that is making him worse than any three year old I’ve known.
I’m known to have insomnia, and be up all night long. I’ll get a few hours sleep and then wake up and stay up for eighteen some hours before collapsing in exhaustion. My son wakes up, gets out of his room and then destroys my house.
You see that fish tank in the background of that picture? Well those fish are dead. One died a few days after getting it. This is because I thought the tank would be good for a goldfish. Nope. Ten gallons of tank is needed for one stupid little stomach-less fish. ‘Kay one fish down, other one doing alright, cleaned the tank, and all that jazz. Next day I wake up fish is dead. WTF. Blue nail polish in the damn tank. My child had escaped from his room and killed the fish off, my cats had cat food cereal, and there was stuff all over the floor.
I have an alarm on his door, but hardly set it because of the annoying sound that comes from it. These screamer alarms give a 120 decible shriek from them and believe me at 5:30 in the morning, you’d come unglued too.
Now repeat this every morning for a week and tell me you wouldn’t be ripping your hair out one strand at a time.
DCS (Department of Children Services) has been helping me, taught me discipline techniques that worked for a month and then stopped. Asking my family for advice is next to impossible since both my parents raised us with the count to five and if you don’t do what we tell you to, you’ll get your ass smacked. I’m not allowed to hit my child. Why? DCS is involved, that’s why. I have to explain every single little bruise, cut, scrap that the boy gets. I give my son a spanking and DCS finds out, I’d lose him.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my son, most of the time. But some days I just want to strangle him and beat him senseless. I’ve been told that this is normal, actually do it is not.
This morning my darling little hellion got out of his room, didn’t wake me up and proceeded to play with the wall repair stuff. Thankfully it wasn’t all over the floor, but rather on the wall. My own fault because 1. didn’t set the alarm, and2. I left the wall repair stuff out where he could get it. Sure he got yelled out for messing with it but that was that.
An hour later, boyfriend gets up and says “what the hell happened in the kitchen?” my eyes narrow and I go to see the mess. My coffee maker has brown water in it with powdered coffee creamer in it, there’s powdered creamer all over the floor and in the cats water bowl. Rhys got swatted and sent to his room where he stayed for a 20 minute time out. Did he learn his lesson? Not a chance in hell.
Again let me show you the hellion. This way you can be warned about his sneaky and conniving ways that would make any parent cringe in fear.
Wanted: One velcro wall
Don’t let the goofy face fool you either. This is something he learned from my boyfriend. “Ha ha you smiled, I’m off the hook.” My son has learned that if he does something bad, he’ll just smile or make a goofy face and mommy will let him off the hook because she smiled. My child is not stupid, he’s extremely smart and while he doesn’t have the best speaking skills in the world, his mind is understanding things at an alarming rate.
Add this child to the stress I have with packing and moving in 3 short weeks, and it’s a recipe for an anxiety attack waiting to happen.
That’s right, Zodi is moving. To the other end of the apartment property, into a bigger apartment. Three bedrooms, one bath, and a dishwasher. I will be bending over backwards to get in there by the first of the month and then dealing with the move and all that stuff that goes along with that. I have to make sure my apartment here is clean before they’ll give me a new one. Carpets here need to be replaced and walls need to be repainted. I’m also late on rent for April. No big deal, I’ll get that to them Friday along with the late fee and then start getting them rest of the money for the deposit on the new apartment.
All in all, I am really excited that I am going to have more room to breathe. The big bonus is my brother will be in his own room and off my couch.
Now I have to put rules in place for this new place. No food in the bedrooms, no shoes in the house. That sort of thing. I’ll even take pictures once I’m moved in and everything is set up.
Keep it real and rockin’
<3
OH MY GOD FISHIES!
Ps: It’s pictures like this that make it all worth while in the end.
