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Today is one of those days

08 May

Maybe it’s the fact that winter around here has been unusually longer than it normally is.  We’re finally getting warmer temperatures, the sun has always been getting up earlier and earlier as the days go by, but it just never felt like spring.  Even now, I’m hesitant to call it spring.  Oh yes, yesterday I went ahead and took out the summer shorts and wore them with pride, and consequently I ended up freezing my buttocks off because it was only 16 Celsius and windy as heck.

But that really cloudy feeling has still persisted the past few days.  I’m really glad I finished the first book of Rocket Fox and it’ll be going to the editing and rewriting phase.  And I’ve given myself a break from any serious writing (honestly, Star Trek Ocelot is not serious writing, it’s just stuff for fun), and I intend on doing that for the next few days.  But holy cow, I am feeling really down as of late.  When I’m at work I’m fine, I get excited about what I do and what I put together with the newspaper, which is a good thing.  It’s good to have purpose in your job, that you enjoy it and that it gives you a great deal of satisfaction.  That’s half the battle when it comes to having a job, and anyone who finds joy in what they do for a career is someone who has found that first step to bliss.  But when I go home, it’s kind of a drag.  I have stuff that I do, but it’s not much.  I write, I clean my apartment, I do what I need to do around the house.  But it feels less than fulfilling.  Which means, it may be time to go house hunting.

…deep breath…

I’m 42.  Almost 43 (next month, in fact).  I have never gone house hunting before.  By house hunting, I mean a house to buy.  My house.  My yard.  My dwelling.  It’s my place, I can do whatever I want in my house (without breaking any laws, mind you, nor would I suggest “marking territory in the backyard”, the neighbours wouldn’t like it very much).  Granted, if something goes wrong in my house, I have no landlord or building manager to go running to to fix it.  I have to handle all of that.  Maybe that’s what’s getting me down, is that while I really want a house of my own (mostly because I want a pet that neither lives in the water nor in a cage and chirps, because apartments will allow for those animals), I’m terrified about the process of getting one.  Getting a mortgage, getting monthly house payments, paying taxes on the property.  It all terrifies me to no end.

It also has to do with that aspect of wanting a pet.  I’d like someone (or in the case of an animal, something) to come home to, play with, enjoy time together and even do things with.  A small dog (I’m leaning toward Corgi) but most likely a cat (I’m leaning toward Sphynx… ’cause they’re bald!).  But I do find I am lonely at times within my own apartment.

…I also want a cool hidden library, but that’s another thing…

I guess, what I really hope is that this slight anxiety that I’ve been feeling lately manages to go away, that I settle down and things take a better turn.  One thing I’d like to do, however, is offer everyone who reads this an e-hug, so to speak, because I think we could all use something to pick each other up a bit.

Also…

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Sphynx kitty, ’cause I think they’re cute as hell.

And…

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Corgis!

You never know, maybe I’ll get one of each when I get a house.

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3 Comments

Posted by on May 8, 2013 in Life, randomness

 

Tags: , , ,

3 responses to “Today is one of those days

  1. Smash

    May 8, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    I love that picture of the corgis!!! The one in front looks like a little show-off 🙂

     
  2. Tim

    May 8, 2013 at 12:55 pm

    I know. I love corgis, truth be told. I think an animal like that would be a great companion. A good companion is why I’d also like a Sphynx. I’ve read that they are actually very sociable for a cat, and while they are great for those with allergies toward cats, you have to help them make sure they are kept clean and get the proper oils they need, because they don’t have fur which traps oils cats use to keep themselves healthy. I think having either a Sphynx or a Corgi would be awesome.

     
  3. Smash

    May 8, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    I’ve never actually seen a Sphynx cat in real life before. I know a lot of people are put off by them because they don’t have fur, but I think they’re cute too. They’re probably quite affection because they’re so often overlooked. I find that to be the case with black cats. It’s sad that they have one of the lowest adoption rates among cats. Our family had a black cat for over 20 years and he was the most loving animal I’ve ever known. All animals need love! Especially the more unusual ones 😉

     

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