Almost There

04 Oct

The week is almost done.  I’ve survived another seven days.  While the heavy anxiety I felt earlier in the week isn’t as great, I still feel a heavy weight about me.  I wish this feeling would go away.

For now, I live day by day, waiting for things to get better.  There are reasons for this feeling, many from outside influences that I won’t go into here in any detail.  Suffice it to say I feel small right now.

But the week is almost done, and the weekend is soon upon us.  Two whole days to recharge and hope that I come out on top of this heavy weight.

There are things I wish would happen.  Things I’d like to go back to.  But I have to live in the here and now.  Just one more day.

Have you ever had that feeling that you just don’t belong?  I’m going through that now, and have been for the past couple of weeks.  I worry that the things I do just aren’t good enough.  It’s hard to push back those feelings sometimes.

I make long term plans.  I look forward to them.  For Christmas, my parents are going to come out here and bring my aunt with them.  I’ll prepare a meal, mom will probably help.  So I have that to look forward to.  November is writing.  And October is, for now, enjoying the quiet times I have.

There are times when I wish I could go back about three months.  Just before summer officially began.  Warm weather, long days.  I suppose that’s something to look forward to as well, when May and June roll around next year.

How I want to crawl back into bed right now.  But I can’t because I have to get ready for the last day of the week.  Just one more day, and I can do that tomorrow.

But, I’m almost there.

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Posted by on October 4, 2013 in Life, randomness



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