My NaNoWriMo this year has been a total wash. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to hit my goal, mostly because I’ve been completely uninspired to write anything and lack total motivation. My depression has carried over worse this year, and what usually helps (writing) has completely left me. I’m now at a point where I continually question myself instead of actually doing any writing.
Oh, I come up with a few things here and there. I did write a poem. I drew a map. I drew a picture. But that’s it. And the weird thing is, I kinda of know what I want in the story, but it’s just sitting down and writing it. I take a notepad and a pen and open it and have nothing there to actually write. I launch OpenOffice and sit down at my computer and nothing comes to me.
The funny thing is, years ago (over ten, as a matter of fact) I recall this same thing happening and I forced myself to finish what I started. Because I had this annoying habit of leaving things unfinished. I wanted to finish one thing and be happy with it. And it was a piece of fanfiction. Now, with my own original characters and my own stories I can’t even find the motivation to complete a simple thing, not even a short story.
And it just makes it worse because I only berate myself more. I’ll try again tonight and see if I can write anything. Can’t come up with something.