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Book Review: Ragnar & Juliet


Ragnar & Juliet is the first book I’ve read from author Lucy Woodhull.  Touted as sci fi romance, there definitely should be comedy added to that description.  This book is chalk full of it.

Bounty hunting is usually so easy. Flash a little cleavage, mix a roofie cocktail, and Juliet has her man right where she wants him: out cold, ready to be swapped for cash. Her passions are freedom, trashy clothes, and pie—not necessarily in that order.

Hunky alien ship captain Ragnar doesn’t deserve torture at the hands of the psychotic king who hired Juliet; he liberated one of William the Nefarious’ illegal concubines. Juliet can’t ignore such a noble act. She doesn’t trust men, but this one, with the kindest smile she’s ever seen, picks away at her resolve to stay aloof and clothed. He’s just so…nice! Crazy she can deal with; sincerity is terrifying.

Before she gives in to her irrational urge to get a timeshare with him (and his cute tail), they’re caught by the bad guys. Ragnar disappears and abandons her to her disgusting captors—so much for togetherness. Perhaps he’s not such a saint. Even worse, Nefarious William (who prefers “Bob”) has nominated her for Concubine of the Evening. This dubious honor does not thrill her, and only a few hours remain before the king’s mind-altering drugs obliterate her free will.

Sexual slavery might not be fatal, but Juliet would rather die. Of course, the third option (run away to a beach and hump Ragnar silly) is the best, if they can live that long.

Right off, if you’re thinking this is merely a romance novel, you’d be wrong.  Sure, there’s the romance (though, lust is a better term) between Ragnar and Juliet, but there’s lots of action as well.

As the book opens we’re introduced to Juliet Lawrence, who comes from a long line of wealth, but chose a life of a bounty hunter.  Needless to say, as the book describes, she uses her assets to capture her bounties and take them in for the reward.  Things go a little upside down when she’s hired to bring in Ragnar Manscape for King William the Nefarious.

Between quick enough descriptions of the time and place, there’s lots of comedy.  Whether that’s direct from the characters themselves or through Lucy Woodhull’s descriptive wit.  Woodhull manages to put in lots of innuendo without going over the top, and manages to describe what’s needed without taking page upon page to detail the what and where (along with the who, why and how).

A quick read, and thoroughly enjoyable, Ragnar & Juliet is a definite must to anyone who likes high brow (and low brow) comedy intermixed with action in a sci fi universe.

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Posted by on February 19, 2014 in Fun, randomness

 

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Tumblr hijinx at Fox News expense


A quote from a Fox News anchor is making it’s way around the tumblr-verse.

“He’s abandoned some of our key allies like Israel, Poland and Czechoslovakia.” ~Fox’s Liz Cheney attacks President Obama over a country that doesn’t exist anymore (via mediamattersforamerica)

Of course, one has to have a lot of fun at the expense of someone who mistakenly identified a country that hasn’t existed in twenty years.

Don’t get me started on Obama’s treatment of Prussia. A damned shame, that is. (via savagemike)

Personally I’m annoyed about his policies towards Hyperborea, Narnia and Middle Earth. (via iandsharman)

He has been really harsh on the Hyporborians, hasn’t he? (via spastasmagoria)

He hasn’t even weighed in on the scandal in Bohemia. (via alexandraerin)

When is Obama finally going to take a hardline with the USSR? I don’t like how they’re treating East Germany. (via alexcranz)

And what, exactly, is Obama’s policy on Cathay and Atlantis? (via gailsimone)

Better than his policies in regards to Lemuria. (via commodore-sparklebutt)

Obama’s Agarthan strategy drives me to tears of rage. (via melancthe)

You know I heard his family originates in Hibernia, but he never mentions it. Like he’s ashamed of it. (via dimbosama)

I’m simply curious as to whether or not we are, or ever have been, at war with Oceania (via neroon)

And he didn’t even send ambassadors to Westeros to help resolve that petty little war they were having! What the hell, Obama?! (via lonelywerewolfgirl)

And what about Genosha, goddamit? (via gokuma)

Forget Westeros. GALLIFREY IS GONE AND HE DID NOTHING TO HELP. (via ms-meryl)

Man, Obama really mishandled tensions between Ankh-Morpork and Agatean Empire. (via johanirae)

Obama ignores Latveria every time he goes to Europe.  We could really use their cheap labor to produce our own Doombots. (via finaldisciple)

Tensions between Florin and Guilder are at an all-time high.  Why doesn’t Obama intervene regarding the kidnapping of Princess Buttercup?! (via missworded)

The fact that Obama hasn’t weighed in on the Tortall-Scanra conflict is an outrage. (via crystalzelda)

I’m still waiting to hear Obama’s stance on the conflict between Romulus and Vulcan, and if he supports reunification.  And don’t even get me started on the rising tensions between the Caitians and Ferasan. (via timholtorf)

The notes of this have hundreds more.  Click the link and have a chuckle.

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2012 in Fun, randomness

 

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Thanks for all the fish


Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s just the fact that there was a piece of literature out there that I enjoyed a great deal and fell in love with the comedy of it’s words.  Thanks for the fish.  Don’t panic.  Always remember your towel.

I awoke this morning with the not so subtle reminder that today is Towel Day.  There on my tumblr dashboard was something that told me not to forget my towel.

I was excited.  Filled with girlish glee (and I am comfortable in my manhood to say I was indeed filled with girlish glee), I set forth to spread the message of the day.  Naturally, I thought one way of doing this would be to venture into the gaming world of Champions Online.  I would take the character I fashioned for the Rocket Fox series and go into a populated area with her towel.  One of the more populated areas that players go to happens to be called, Club Caprice.  So there I was, playing the role of Senia Felix, commander of the Royal Vulpine Armada’s Nighthawk class deep space fighter.  I walked up to the bar, order myself a tea and scones, and made certain that every time I said something or described an action, that the towel would also be mentioned.

Hang the towel over a shoulder.

Use the towel to wipe off the counter of crumbs.

Slip the towel into the weapons belt.

Much to my surprise, and my chagrin, there was no reaction.  None at all.

Granted, I do know that some players have identified anyone playing an anthropomorphic character as a “furry”, and there is a lot of stereotypical baggage that comes with that sub genre.  Those players often ignore such characters.  Their loss, really.  Especially when dealing with the members of the Royal Vulpine Armada.  Granted, there are those who are mildly entertained by Senia’s actions; an incredibly intelligent mind in such a small frame.  A military officer sworn with a duty to protect and keep the peace.  A dedicated explorer.

But what I was really disappointed with was there was no reaction at all, even from those that Senia spoke to and interacted with, who mentioned the towel.  Who got the reference.  Even when some had to leave, there was no comment to “As the intergalactic saying goes, don’t panic” whatsoever.  There wasn’t even a reaction to the comment “thanks for all the fish” upon my leaving the club.

Perhaps it was just the morning crowd.  I’ll have to try again this evening.

 
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Posted by on May 25, 2012 in Fun, randomness

 

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Two sides to every coin


Get excited for a four day weekend and all the writing you can get done is just like…

And then the realization that you have a lot of writing to do based on the plot points you want to put in and the character descriptions and scenes and you’re like…

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2012 in Fun, randomness, Writing

 

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A long day at work makes the brain… weird


A long day at work yesterday and an early day at work today, makes for a very tired Tim.

Image may or may not represent Tim.

There has been a definite lack of postings today.  Even reblogs or likes.

So, I will make up for it with funny pictures.

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2012 in lolcat, photos

 

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It’s owls! It’s awesome!


Lovely Owl – YouTube.

Commentary?  Who needs commentary?  It’s freakin’ owls!

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2011 in Fun, randomness, video

 

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It was a normal Tuesday…


…here in the office, only much funnier.

Tuesday’s where I work are high pressure.  That is in a good way, of course.  Because we are growing closer and closer to the deadline when pages have to be sent to the press for the weekly newspaper.  If that means we have to stick around until 9 at night, then that’ what we do.  I’ve done that before, and let me tell you, it is tiring.

Often when we’re in set up mode, we come up with interesting, albeit by accident, funny moments.  One such funny moment came while I was typing up the local news.  I should explain, by local news I mean the community news.  Specific to small towns in the area.  Much like the Globe and Mail having a few pages dedicated to The Prairies, our news paper has a few column inches dedicated to, oh say, Conquest.  Yes, that’s the name of a small village.  On this particular day, I was typing away what the “correspondent” had sent in. Not all those who write the local community news have access or the know how to operate a computer.  Yes, the population of our readership is aging.  But I digress…

A lot of times when I’m typing, my fingers fly faster than what I try to get out in my head.  It’s worse when I’m typing someone else’s written words.  Thank goodness for lessons in cursive writing in school so I can read their writing.  However, on this day I became aware just how close the “I” and the “O” keys are on the keyboard, and a simple slip can make a sweet, innocent word become rather vulgar.  Possible.  That was the word.  Good thing I proof read, otherwise “pissable” would have made it into the paper.  And the way things go, readers remember your screw ups much more than the awesome things you did.

The other humourous thing today came in the form of a conversation.  Between all three of us in the office… yes, it’s a small office… we were discussing what should go on the front page.  Our publisher started off with…

“We need a photo for the front page.”

“What about from the rodeo?” asked our reporter.

PUB: “Yeah, get that picture with the guy on the horse.”

ME: “That narrows it down.”

All in all, just another day in our little newspaper office.

 
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Posted by on July 26, 2011 in Fun, Life, randomness

 

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