My folks are coming over to my place today (in about two hours), and I didn’t prepare a 31 Days of Ghosts. So it’s going to be a tad late today.
Just a warning to let everyone know.
I felt safe with them around today. Better than I’ve felt in a few weeks. Part of me was hoping they’d say “let’s pack up your stuff and move back to Saskatoon”. However, that would have been a neat trick to do, considering they drive a Ford Aspire.
But it felt good to vent openly and face to face with someone who knows what it’s like to have depression. My mom suffers from depression, and lately my dad has been realizing he has as well. So to be able to talk about it with people who know felt good. It felt good to be honest with them about the fact that I’ve been so low that the thought of just ending it has come to mind.
It’s hard to talk about depression with people who don’t know anything about it. It’s like having a broken arm, or leg, or having surgery seems easier because there’s a physical scar. But there’s such a stigma about mental illness. I have been called “emotional” but it’s more than just emotion that’s triggering some of my feelings. It’s very hard to explain. And of course, I’ve gotten the “just be happy” speech, which is less than helpful.
But having my parents here helped, we had lunch together, went out and picked up some groceries together, and they surprised me and bought it all. That helped out a lot.