Winter mornings

The scene that greets me every day so far this winter.

I can deal with winter when I’ve got this wonderful area around me.  There’s no buildings to block the view, lots of trees, and just enough light to help out.  I’ve got a few neighbours and from what I understand there’s two more trailers being put in between mine and my closest neighbour, which means it’ll feel much more like a community and neighbourhood.

And thank goodness I had my tripod this morning, or else all of my photos would be nothing but blurs from the amount of shaking my hands go through when I’m actively attempting to be steady.

 

Brrrr, F*****G COLD!

It was -17 today (Celsius, naturally).  At least, that’s what the temperature was when I woke up.  With a light breeze, the temperature feels like -19 (it’s that windchill thing, the temperature isn’t actualy -19, but it feels like it is, suffice to say windchill is basically the amount of time it takes for skin to freeze, and I don’t mean get cold, I mean fucking freeze).

I think it’s safe to say that Saskatchewan (along with many other regions of Canada… with the exception of those who live in British Columbia) is now firmly in the grip of winter.  Winter isn’t coming, it’s already here, mutherfucker.

Now we have to deal with four more months of this shit, as well as really shorter days of light.  No, we don’t suddenly have 20 hours in a day, it’s that the sun rises later and sets earlier in the day. Ergo, less sunlight hours.

The good thing; we have lots of things to keep us going until New Years Day.  the busier we are, the faster the time goes.  The bad thing; after New Years Day, it’s a holiday wasteland until Easter (okay there is Family Day in February, but that’s one day off and the only reprieve, three day weekends are all about going to the lake and relaxing, not huddled in a comforter trying to keep warm).

Such is the life of someone who lives on the prairies.  At least one thing is for sure, we’re all in this together.  We can survive, we’ve done it for several years already.  We live and die by our unofficial motto in this province.

What doesn’t kill us, only makes us stronger.

 

And now the weather

 

And now the weather; here’s what it was like at 7:30 this morning. pic.twitter.com/fTBaw8o2xX

— TimHoltorf (@TimHoltorf)

April 30, 2014

 

And here’s what it is at 6:00 in the evening. pic.twitter.com/uJNVIfCiBf

— TimHoltorf (@TimHoltorf)

April 30, 2014

via Tim Holtorf on Twitter

And tomorrow is the last day of April.  This snow stuff needs to be gone.

 

21 Days Until Spring

Today is March 1st, and usually that’s when the thoughts of spring come to mind.

However, when I look out my window or read the weather, spring is furthest from my mind.  The streets, sidewalks, alleyways and even rooftops are covered in snow.  Last night it reached -40 Celsius and today at 11:20 (as I write this) it’s still -31 Celsius.

That’s mid winter deep freeze as I remember it from my childhood.  March is supposed to be about things melting, and slush and soupy road conditions.  The sun is getting up earlier and earlier, and it sets later and later as we head into March, but it’s not helping with the constant cold that has engulfed us all.

Winter is often the time when I feel my lowest, and the cold and darkness doesn’t help.  Spring is a time of hope and often helps me and I feel a lot better.  The cold, however, still doesn’t help.  Spring is to be about getting your bike out and preparing to ride (though, I do know several people who ride their bikes no matter the weather and do so every single day of the year come rain, snow or shine).  It’s supposed to be about baseball and gardening.  Preparing for the spring seeding.  Waiting with hope for the first flowers to bloom.

Winter is like the long death, as everything hibernates for several months.  A sort of gloomy dormancy.

But we’re still 21 days until the first official day of spring.  I don’t hold this hope that suddenly on March 21st spring will wipe the snow clean and things will automatically turn green.  It’s gradual.  But it’s that gradual aspect that tells a person that it’s almost here, the warm weather is coming.  We’re safe and we’re whole.

 

Tuesday morning random times

Darkness and light

I think I’m getting used to the dark mornings.  Of course, this is just as winter is beginning to move into spring.

I can’t really explain it, but there’s something tranquil about the early mornings and the dark still there.  Wake up at 5:00 a.m. and it’s still dark.  There’s no traffic, noise seems to carry further, you can hear things much more clearly, and there seems to be a sort of peace.

It might have to do with the fact it’s also gotten warmer.  After a few weeks of -30 to -20 mornings, the temperature now sits around -10 to -5 in the morning.  Which is a good thing.

Eventually, mornings will become lighter again, and I’ll greet that more readily than when summer gives way to fall and fall gives way to winter.  Even with the sun rising at 5:00 in the morning, there’s still a peace and tranquility to be had.

Television

On weekends I’ll usually stay up later.  On weekdays I get up earlier.

Often, I’ll go out onto my balcony with a coffee and a cigarette, and I can’t help but see all the things around me.  Like the building across the street.  It’s a set of condos, and often you can gauge when people go to bed and when people get up.

But there’s one neighbour who has a really big television.  I could pretty much watch it from my balcony if I desired.  Which I don’t because there’s no sound.  But I noticed lately, my neighbour’s television is on later and on earlier than usual.

It’s the Olympics.  You can tell because you know the way footage for play by play hockey goes, or curling, or figure skating.  But my neighbour really seems to like the Olympics.

February Writer’s Challenge

Like NaNoWriMo, February Writer’s Challenge turned into a very big bust.

I’ve had no motivation to write what I want.  I’ve doodled writing, jotting down little bits of things here and there.  Never posting anything, because it all feels like crap.

I’ve read over things I’ve written, I’ve become listless when I want to write.  I’m not at a very good place creatively, and this bothers me.  I suppose it might pass, but I’ve been waiting for it to pass for several months while I write poetry and small stories.

Maybe that’s what I’ll just have to do, to keep some form of creativity flowing.  Poetry and short stories.

 

What a conundrum

It’s days like this I wish that my car was plated and running properly.

I say that and then realize that I’d have to actually have to start my car now in order for it to be warm by the time I’d head out at 7:30.  Yes, for nearly two hours.

It’s -34 Celsius, with a windchill warning that makes it feel like -47 Celsius.

I have to prepare my attire correctly.  Today seems like it’ll be a three layer day.

A further conundrum

I see these wonderful pictures of snow, falling snow, lonely cottages in the mountains, the stars in the sky on a winter night, and even the incredible northern lights.  They look incredible.

But…

They remind me how stinkin’ cold winter is.  Actually, they don’t.  Merely walking outside does a great job of that.

 

On writing and winter and darkness

It’s been several days since I posted anything here.  I haven’t really taken a break, I just haven’t felt I’ve had anything meaningful to talk about.

It’s November 19th, and I can say that with 11 days remaining in November, this NaNoWriMo has been terrible.  Even the other years when I didn’t make the 50K mark, I had at least hit well over half.  But this year, I wrote my first two thousand words and then nothing.   There was no motivation to write, no ideas that made sense, and even when I had ideas I couldn’t be bothered to put them down on paper or into a word processor.  This year, I felt nothing regarding my writing.

Usually, this can be attributed to a few things.  The simplest is that I was just lazy and couldn’t be bothered.  Partially true, but even with that there have been other times when I’d at least write something.  Maybe I was just burned out after a near 31 days straight of writing for October.  I do know that the winter season, even though it hasn’t officially arrived, has had a greater affect on my this year than past years.

Normally, I’d be able to combat my seasonal affective disorder without much trouble.  But this year has been hard.  It was often a struggle to just sit under a light at times.  I hit one of my lowest points this year.  And there was a huge amount of anxiety that still hung on from the move I made in August.  I’m still trying to figure out if this was a wise move or not.  There comes a point when you have to decide if the move you made is less important than your mental and physical well being.

I also don’t like that there’s this all consuming darkness around me.  Not some metaphorical thing, I mean actual darkness.  I get up in the morning, go to work, it’s dark.  I get off work at 5, it’s dark again.  This is the problem with winter, it gets dark too early and it stays dark too late.

The days, at least, keep me busy, so I’m thankful for that.  This week has actually found myself a little more up than usual this past season.  That comes from the most unusual of places; football.  This past weekend the Saskatchewan Roughriders won the western final to advance to the Grey Cup.  I’m focusing a little bit of attention there.  Still, I’m going one day at a time, and hopefully I’ll get better.

 

As one gets older

As you get older, you start to realize that the time goes by fast.  A day doesn’t take any time at all, and an hour may as well be a minute sometimes.

When I was younger, I remember times that I’d wish for the days to go by because I was going to go to Saskatoon to visit my grandparents for a week, and go to the Saskatoon Exhibition.  The time wasn’t going fast enough for my tastes.  Now, I try very hard to live each minute to the fullest.  No matter what I’m doing.  I could be reading or watching television or going for a walk or working at my desk.  Each minute that passes I take in stride, and try to make it as full filling for me.  Doing things for others is incredible work, but from time to time you have to be selfish.  And that means taking time for yourself.

Now, as I’m older, time flies by all too quickly.  One season into the next.  Summer, my favourite of the seasons (fall holds a close second) feels like it’s gone in a matter of minutes.  There are things in ones life that comes up that you look forward to, but there’s also today and the next day that we have to live through before getting to that special event.  Some days are enjoyable, some days are a drag, but each day should be approached with optimism.  Winter, on the other hand, doesn’t go by fast enough.

We can plan for each day that comes around, or we can take what comes and enjoy the small things.  When we try to slow things down so that each day rolls by as slowly as it did in our youth, then maybe we’ll grow more appreciative of not only the day itself, but of everything around us.  It’s a very “stop and smell the roses” kind of attitude, but it makes a lot of sense.  Don’t panic, things will always work out, especially if you can plug away and gain some progress.  Be determined, and be positive.  And if there are certain things you need help with, never be afraid to ask.

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to be older.  Now that I am, I often long for simpler times when I was 12.  However, there would be a number of things I would not have experienced.

I know this has sounded like a rather cliche post, all positive vibes and such.  I guess I needed a little bit of that right now considering I’ll be moving to Humboldt in the next couple of weeks.  Which does lead into the next thing I’ve learned.  Each move is an opportunity.  Each new chapter is a chance to learn something new.  You just have to approach it with a good sense of self and a lot of determination.  Always be open and willing to change.  A lack of change can end up forcing one to end up in the same rut, which is the opposite of progress and even the antithesis of happiness.

 

Oh those summer nights

Okay, not exactly summer, but this time of year is what I live for.

The past couple of nights I have had to be out of the house for a couple of reasons.  Yesterday was an Ice Hawks meeting (I’m on the board of executives, and for those who don’t know, that’s the local hockey team), and the previous night I had to prepare the paper for delivery yesterday.  The paper has to get to the post office by about eight in the morning, so I do all of the things needed to get all the labels on each paper and make sure flyers are inserted into all the papers that the customer requests.

During the winter, this is what it might look like when I get done around 7:30 to 9:00 pm (and sometimes even later depending on the work load).

Dark, drab, depressing.  Let’s just say, I’m not fond of that which is a winter wonderland.

Summertime is much better for me, which is why I dream of it during those long, cold winter nights.  Because last night, and Wednesday night, this is what I got to see at 9:30 in the evening.

Lots of green, quite warm, colourful sky.  The longer days mean my attitude feels a lot better.  It’s what comes with having SADs (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  I often will go into massive depression during the winter and at times it’s really hard to get motivated.  During the summer, it’s a lot easier.

I’ve often been told “You should move to a warmer climate”.  Nah, not really.  While it’d be nice to move, I really don’t want to move.  There are other ways of dealing with depression during winter, and part of that involves some extra vitamins, or even sitting under a UV lamp while I read.  It helps.

But the thing that really helps is the longer days of summer, the warm weather and the green everywhere.

 

The end is ….

The month of March saw the highest snowfall for Saskatchewan, more than the rest of the winter. Last week’s storm brought in so much, when Highways were cleared it was almost like driving through a tunnel thanks to the height of the snow pushed to the sides of the road, much like this on Highway 45 north to Delisle. (photo by Derek Ruttle, front page of the March 28 issue of the Outlook weekly newspaper)

Are we at the end?  Is there light at the end of the tunnel?  I’d like to say yes, I really would, because as I write this, the temperature sits at a balmy -3 Celsius.  I say balmy, because that’s at least warmer than the -20s we’ve been having for the past couple of weeks.

What I worry about now is that as the snow melts, and the temperature rises, how much flooding we’ll have.  Record snowfall amounts across the province (Regina with over 200 centimetres of snow) means there will be that much water that goes into the ground.  It’s good to have snow because that means it’ll seep into the ground in spring which is good for moisture.  Which means we’ll have a decent farming season.  It also means a good deal will evaporate and later come down as rain.  The worry now is flooding.

We’re normally a hot, dry province during the summer, and we don’t experience as much flooding as would be seen in Manitoba.  But we’ll have to prepare for it now.  Many have been getting their insurance ready for the inevitable, because there’s a fear a lot of basements are going to become ruined thanks to the snow.  You have to remember, when snow melts it doesn’t just go into the ground and everything is fine.  It drains into whatever area is accessible at the time, and basements are prime for that.

This also means for a while we’ll be up to our necks in mud.

The spring time weather and warmer temperatures, combined with the budding of the trees, that I like.  The oncoming tidal wave that will hit thanks to the record snowfall amounts… let’s just say I’m glad I live in a second storey apartment.