Confession: I’m actually a fake geek guy

12 Mar

Because when I post something long, it usually goes on both my blogs.

gailsimone asked the question, and I kind of answered, but I felt I needed expand on it some more.

Based on all of the criteria given for what it means to be a fake geek, I fall into pretty much every category.  I don’t own a lot of comic books.  As a matter of fact, I gave away three long boxes of comics before moving to Humboldt.  All I’m left with is my graphic novels and some single issues, mostly of series which have been/will be cancelled.  And two mini series (see below).



above: issues of Batwoman, The Movement, Fearless Defenders, Savage Hawkman (three issues because it was horrible), Huntress mini, Batgirl and the latest Captain Canuck mini



above: several trades and collected editions which includes Tomb Raider Compendium, DC Showcase Hawkman, DC Showcase Jonah Hex, several Green Arrow/Black Canary, several Hawkman/Hawkgirl (would kill for a Hawkworld trade), several Green Lantern/Green Arrow, several classic Captain America, several Captain America/Falcon, all four Batman vs Predator (including the one with the Huntress), several Supergirl, and several John Constantine Hellblazer.



above: Maus I & II and books 1 and 2 of Grek Rucka’s Queen & Country.



above: Huntress Year One, Huntress Crossbow at the Crossroads, the first Captain Canuck in two volumes, the first two volumes of Batwoman, Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters, Hawkworld: As Above, So Below, Shado: Song of the Dragon, All Star Western: Volumes 1 & 2, and The Adventures of Captain America.

I should note: I do not live in a community with an LCS, my car is presently not road worthy to take weekend trips to Saskatoon (though, I wish it were) just so I could pick up comics at 8th Street Books and Comics or Amazing Stories.  I have to rely on ordering them through Amazon.  I have considered upgrading my Kindle to a Kindle Fire so that I might be able to get comics for that.  Or even buying an iPad and buy all my comics on Comixology.

I don’t even have a large collection of figures or such around my house.  I think there’s three statues….




above: top, Hawkman, middle, Lara Croft Tomb Raider wet suit, bottom, Lara Croft jungle attire.

I will admit I’ve got three Hawkman Heroclix, three Huntress Heroclix, an Iron Man Heroclix, a Ghost Widow Heroclix (City of Villain FTW!), a Total Justice Hawkman, a Golden Age Hawkman and Hawkgirl (with swapable helmets to make Silver Age versions), a Green Arrow/Oliver Queen figure (complete with boxing glove arrow and hand cuff arrow), and a Vampirella bust.

But that probably means nothing, because it’s not a huge list of figs that I’ve got.

I mean, I don’t even have a whole lot of movies based around geek stuff.


above: Wonder Woman, Justice League: New Frontier, Batman: Gotham Knights, Green Lantern, Superman/Batman: Public Enemies, Superman Doomsday, Metropolis, Akira, Spider-man 1, 2, & 3, the Original Green Hornet; not shown, the terrible Green Hornet, 1940s Flash Gordon, the complete Underworld series, the complete Aliens series, X-Files season one and two (ON VHS), both X-Files movies, Daredevil, Iron Man 1, 2, & 3, Avengers, Superman 1, 2, 3, & 4, that other Superman movie not by Chris Nolan, Batman Begins, Dark Knight, Dark Knight Rises, EVERY STAR TREK MOVIE, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Hobbit 1 & 2, Predator 1 & 2, Predators, AVP, AVP Requiem, EVERY STAR TREK TELEVISION SERIES… EVERY SEASON, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Batman: Sub-Zero, Batman Beyond the series, Batman Beyond: the movie, Birds of Prey television series, Xena: Warrior Princess.

I mean, I could even go into collectible trading card games (three DC/Marvel/Image Overpower decks called respectively The Avengers [Captain America, Falcon, Black Widow and Hawkeye], the Hawk Deck [Hawkman, Shadowhawk, Falcon and Huntress], and the Amazing Spider-Deck [Spider-man, Scarlet Spider, Spiderwoman, and Spider-girl], and then there’s Magic the fuckin’ Gathering with the Angle Deck, the Cat Warrior Deck, the Avian Soldier Deck, Mill Stone your deck into your graveyard deck, oh, and then there’s the Star Trek decks…).  I could even go into video games (Balder’s Gate 1 & 2, Diablo, Freedom Force, DS9: The Fallen, Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force, Dungeon Siege, Neverwinter Nights 1 & 2… complete with expansions, Aliens vs Predator 2, Return to Castle Wolfenstein, all the Tomb Raider PC games, American McGee’s Alice, Tribes 2, Tribes Vengeance, Guild Wars [including Nightfall, Factions and Eye of the North], Guild Wars 2, and was a big part of City of Heroes/Villains/Going Rogue).  I mean,I still have many of the 2nd Ed D&D books (Combat and Tactics, Skills and Powers) on PDF.  I bought a good number of books such as the Paladin Handbook, Ninja Handbook, and Ranger’s Handbook for our group’s collection (which they still have), plus I’ve also got my original characters’ character sheets (you might recognize the names Shani Wennemein and Pania Alow, I wrote them together in a book).

By now, you might be thinking this is really sarcastic.  Which, if you followed gailsimone and had an idea of what her type of humour is, that her original question of “fake geek boys” was a sarcastic response to the overwhelming stupidity of “fake geek girls”.

My collection’s not huge, but it’s pretty fair sized (I think I forgot the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Millenium, Angel and Firefly in the above for movies and television).  But I know girls (and women) who have twice as much and even three times as much as I do.  They get questioned on their validity as a geek, but I don’t.  There are women who have a vastly superior knowledge of geek trivia than I do, but they get questioned about whether or not they actually are a fan.  I don’t.  And it comes down to one reason and one reason only.

I’m a guy.  They’re females.  Ergo, according to the sexist pieces of shit that exist in the geek fandoms, a female automatically needs to prove herself.  Whereas I don’t.  Just because I’m a guy.

I should have added in that original that I also have never, ever gone to a convention.  I’d love to, but I suffer extreme social anxiety, and often within five minutes of being in a crowded place I want to leave.  A crowded place can also mean twenty people.  So, if five people from tumblr wanted to get together for coffee with me, I’d be down for that, I’d still be awkward, but it would be better than entering a convention hall.

I can’t even go to sporting events.  I have to be having a really good day, and the team I support has to be having a really good game.  I’ve been to a total of one NHL game (Montreal Canadiens at Winnipeg in the early 1990, game went to overtime, tied at 6), three football games (all Saskatchewan Roughrider games, first one against Toronto Argonauts, went into overtime, stayed tied at 33), no NFL games, no MLB games, no NBA games.

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Posted by on March 12, 2014 in Life, randomness


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