No, I don’t have a dramatic piece of fiction entitled “The Wasp” to share (though, maybe in the future). This is something that happened yesterday after I got home from work.
It’s been getting warmer, and it’s been raining every so often here, which makes things nice and green, but also makes it very humid. Yeah, humidity in a land locked province with no major oceans. The only water ways are two massive river systems the join and flow into a series of lakes in Manitoba. Admittedly, Saskatchewan does have a large number of lakes as well, but the area I live in is predominantly agriculture. For decades it was known as the dust bowl, and a common phrase was “it’s a dry heat”.
Anyway, due to the fact that my apartment was a little warmer than I liked, I decided to get some air circulating. I opened a window in my office and one in my kitchen (kitchen first, then the office, in that order). When I opened the office window, I was a tad shocked at what I found. The window pushed a wasp into the open.
A big wasp.
In my apartment.
Sorry, no pictures, because the last thing on my mind was “let’s take pics of this evil thing that COULD FUCKING KILL ME”.
It looked a tad stunned as I opened the window, and it didn’t fly around to begin the ensuing attack which I anticipated. Quickly, I ran to the kitchen and retrieved a glass and an old envelope from a cell phone bill. I carefully lifted the blind and trapped the wasp inside the glass, then pushed the envelope to cover the opening.
Now what? I could have filled the glass with water and drowned the bastard, or dumped it in the toilet, but thoughts of it surviving suddenly filled my head. There was no way I was touching it, nor was I going to crush it’s body in a kleenex like what often happens to a fly that annoys me. This thing was four times bigger than a fly. And evil, did I mention that. So, I wanted to avoid zombie wasp coming back to kill me.
I did the only thing I knew; I went on my balcony and I set it free, kind of thrusting the glass to help push the wasp away. Maybe, in its evil way, it would be merciful and believe I was a minion trying to allow it to continue on with its evil ways.
Needless to say, having a wasp in my apartment was not the greatest thing in the world to have. It would have been nicer if it had been a bumble bee. At least then I could have coaxed it out and let its cute, fuzzy butt out into the world to pollinate and be free.
Wasps; those things are evil.
Turn the Page 